haskalmighty

So BeautifulGirl is in kind of a shitty mood lately partly because one of her best friends turns out to have a meth problem. Which kind of puts me in a shitty mood because ultimately i'm not sure there's a whole lot we can do for this girl. She's not going to be able to make rent this month (BG's friend, Hilda) and will probably be evicted in a couple days. I thought and thought and thought about it last night, and while i haven't cried in years, i was pretty damn close just thinking about the shittiness of it all. Because Hilda was probably a really cool person at one point. But like i said, i'm not sure there's a lot we can do. And i'm not sure what advice i should give BeautifulGirl. I mean, we can't just give up on this girl.
In some ways, i feel like i'm living in an ivory tower of happiness. Like, there's all these people around me with serious problems, not just drugs but problems with anger and neuroses and addictions to pop culture, problems with overgratification, depression, etc...and i feel like i've risen above a lot of that sort of thing, but that i'm not really doing anything to help out the people around me. And i really think i ought to, because i _don't_ think this is a matter of willpower; i think i'm extremely fortunate to be where i am. On the other hand, when i try to help, it feels like i give and give and give with no return; but isn't that the highest expression of Real Love? Like i said, shitty mood.
Also, BeautifulGirl's phone has been turned off, which is simultaneously amusing and annoying to me. She'll figure something out. She's been saying she doesn't really want a cell phone anyhow.
Ah, to be young again.