I am torn. Darling and I are completely in love, but EMan and I talking like there could be something some day. I don't know how I feel about EMan. He never just says things or tells me how he feels. He's telling me things, but they're all physical things. I hate that. I want him to want who I am, not what I can do. But I really don't want him to want me, because then if things were mutual, things might happen that we'd regret. I'd regret. Because I love Darling. I have a great war going on inside my mind now. Do I stay with the man I love and wonder if maybe he's my comfort zone, or step into this great unknown of the man I've had a thing for since I first met him? I don't know if I'm just rationalizing that if EMan and I do have something, that it'll be my heart on the line, and nothing good will come of it, but I'll end up losing my Darling, whom I love deeply. Or am I so reluctant to try something new because I know that if it doesn't work out, not only will it be terribly unfair to Darling, but that I might not ever be so happy again. This debate is dumb. But real. I'm so in love with Darling, but still enamored by EMan. I've never thought so hard about if I were to lose Darling. I just never thought it would happen. But what if...
*Demon
*Demon
plumfairy:
Actually, the reason I am thinking about getting a myspace account is b/c so many freaking people I know and meet have one. The people in the craft group I go to have it and communicate that way, the people I met the other night all have myspaces and let each other know about parties and whats going down thru it, and lots of the people I know on SG have one, and some of the autocross people have it. If it wasn't for everyone having it and me feeling left out of the loop, I'd still avoid it, but it seems I may need to get one to just keep up. Plus a friend of mine mentioned that people from my past might actual find me. Don't know if that would be a good or bad thing. Good thing is seems, but I'm wary about it. I don't know. We'll see. I think I need to get a model mayhem account thing first then I'll think about a myspace. 
thanks for commenting
thanks for commenting
kelzo:
Yes, that must be why it's called the drunken monkey, because you're so drunk you forget that you mastered it! Maybe I could find you in a grocery store at midnight sometime and we could see if we can remember it! haha.