harperlee626

I like to think I am a reasonably intelligent and charmingly witty individual. But somewhere along the way my brain got lazy. I stopped reading the books I loved and stopped having meaningful conversations. Now that I am *GASP* 27 I find myself trapped between childhood and adulthood. I was reading over old e-mails I sent to a friend well over 3 years ago and I was flirty and fun and smart. I was a person that I would have LOVED to get to know. We talked about everything from school and anthropology to working in third world countries running rampant with HIV/AIDS. I had goals and dreams and aspirations, but somewhere between moving to Brighton and being hired @ CHB I lost every single one of them. This job is slowly killing my soul. I dont mean that in the overly dramatic sense I actually mean that working here for 2.5 years, day in and day out with people talking to me like I am the worlds biggest moron who cant do anything besides answer a phone and be micromanaged with even the most menial of tasks, has actually lead me to believe this. And without even realizing it I reached the point where I shut down in order to block it all out so I didnt need to be that depressed girl stuck in a job that is completely wrong where I am constantly undervalued, underpaid and overworked. Im underpaid because I dont have a piece of paper stating that I am qualified to file papers and order coffee. This past summer, I stepped up into TWO additional roles and because I didnt have that little piece of paper, they paid me $1.50 more than what I was making to do ONE job. This place has made me bitter, and cynical and unwilling to be part of the team.



I have finally found something, after years of searching that I am 100% passionate about. But because I have essentially wasted my existence on working in this place I am so far behind the trend that is it proving hard to catch up. I am finally back in school, but it is a whole lot of hurry up and wait. I have at least 2 years before I can look for a job doing something I will actually enjoy. And once I get there, I have a feeling those jobs are going to kill my soul in a different manner. At this point, I am longing for that hurt to help me feel alive again. Georgia, Johnny, Myrtle, and Patrick have all helped me find a true home. I cant wait until its my turn to help others like them.