harmanic

I'd avoided posting because I didn't want to take that picture down. It amuses me. It's one of my profile pics, if you missed it and care.

I decided on an introspective blog tonight.

I feel like my career's a bit fucked up. I'm advancing in the ranks of what I do very quickly. I'm one of the best in town, and it's not a small town. I'm also not doing what I trained for. That's a common enough story. However, I'm also not doing the thing that I know I"m a lot better at. I'm making enough money to live, which is hard in this business, and have recieved accolades, promotions, and praise. This job will always be a fight for me. I get by because I"m smart - not because I'm built for this.

I hope that doesn't souind like ego; the smart thing. Especially when I'm talking about an area where I feel stupid, even though I'm doing well at it.

I'm torn right now. I feel like I have a lot to offer the world, and I"m not offering it, whether out of fear, laziness, or delusion. Also, however, I think more and more as I get older that I should forget about that sort of crap, and realize that I do good work for a good wage, enjoy my job and coworkers, and am good at what I do. It would almost be the American Dream (tm) if I had better credit.

I think that's all for now, Mr. Crenshaw. I have a date with some wine.