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What Craigslist taught me about penises and why it scares me...
Date: 2006-10-05, 4:04AM EDT
Craigslist is a bastion of learning. It's true! Most of it's crappy learning, some of it's actually good, but then there's the occasional scary-ass-thought-provoking-make-me-insensible-with-fear type of knowledge that rears up. This has happened to me, and this is why i'm making this post at such a crappy hour in the morning. Because I've actually been up all night worrying about this...ya, i'm neurotic blah blah blah...
What I've learned recently is that there are two basic types of penis. There are 'growers' and there are 'showers'. I did not know this, and I'm a guy.
A shower is a penis that is pretty much the same size when hard or soft. What you see is what you get.
A grower is a penis that starts small but grows bigger when the blood gets-a-pump'n. It's like a magic trick!! Fun for all.
I mean seriously, I didn't know that wangs had two different growth strategies...why would evolution do this? What benefit is there to having one type of penis over the other? It's crazy! Nature, you are a madhouse!!
Anyway, at first this didn't bother me much, I found it to be quirky, but unimportant to my life. But tonight, for some reason, I started to think about it...and what I thought about scares me! Let me explain:
You see, I"m a grower. As mentioned that means my wang, when at rest, starts off rather small. When soft the little guy is only about 2 1/2 or 3 inches - not impressive. When something exciting happens, though, such as a naked women happens to walk by, or I accidentally click on a link to some free internet porn, the little guy grows - He GETS HUGE!!! Well, ok, maybe not huge, but above 7 inches...and by 7 I mean 6.
This isn't bad, I have a nice, average cock, perfect for all potential usages. I"m quite fond of him really...in fact on those slow, quiet, lazy afternoons when I have nothing better to do I'll often pull him out just to admire him...the firmness...the sleek lines...the raw power that is my penis!! I'll admire him for a few minutes, and then put him away, safe again, in my pants. It's a good life.
Before Craigslist I had always assumed that every guy had a grower. It only makes sense, mine grows cause that's the way that male genetalia is made!! Suddenly I thought back to all those times walking around locker rooms with my little 3 incher dangling ( can a 3 inch cock dangle??), and I wondered if guys who were 'showers' thought that was all that I had to offer!!
Now, since I"m not gay I don't really care too much about other guy's opinions on my unit, but it did start the ball rolling......
What if, for example, I'm sitting on the couch, watching the Leafs, with a hot babe beside me. Say that we've never had sex before, but she's suddenly really horny and feeling 'adventurous' and so she kinda reaches over and sticks her hand down my pants. Suppose her hand is cold.
So, there she is with her hand down my pants while I'm watchign the Leafs and her hand is COLD. What do you think the little guy's reaction will be? Well, he's probably going to be a little scared and confused and it'll take awhile before the shock of the situation wears off and he springs into action.
Meantime, Hot Babe is wondering why I have such a small stick because she's only ever been with 'showers' before and so thinks that whatever size a guy is when soft, is pretty much what you get when hard. She quickly pulls her hand out of my pants, makes some excuse about pancakes or early morning workouts and leaves.
What if this happens!!! It could happen!!! Seriously, it could!!!!
Man, it just creeps me out thinking about it....
So, ladies, give a guy a chance, ok, he may have more to offer than you first realize.....
P.S. I"m moving back to T.O at the end of the month after being gone for a decade, so if any of you ladies wanna see what I mean by 'grower', drop me a line..muahahaha...
P.S.S I also need a job. Drop me a line if you have one of those, too.
What Craigslist taught me about penises and why it scares me...
Date: 2006-10-05, 4:04AM EDT
Craigslist is a bastion of learning. It's true! Most of it's crappy learning, some of it's actually good, but then there's the occasional scary-ass-thought-provoking-make-me-insensible-with-fear type of knowledge that rears up. This has happened to me, and this is why i'm making this post at such a crappy hour in the morning. Because I've actually been up all night worrying about this...ya, i'm neurotic blah blah blah...
What I've learned recently is that there are two basic types of penis. There are 'growers' and there are 'showers'. I did not know this, and I'm a guy.
A shower is a penis that is pretty much the same size when hard or soft. What you see is what you get.
A grower is a penis that starts small but grows bigger when the blood gets-a-pump'n. It's like a magic trick!! Fun for all.
I mean seriously, I didn't know that wangs had two different growth strategies...why would evolution do this? What benefit is there to having one type of penis over the other? It's crazy! Nature, you are a madhouse!!
Anyway, at first this didn't bother me much, I found it to be quirky, but unimportant to my life. But tonight, for some reason, I started to think about it...and what I thought about scares me! Let me explain:
You see, I"m a grower. As mentioned that means my wang, when at rest, starts off rather small. When soft the little guy is only about 2 1/2 or 3 inches - not impressive. When something exciting happens, though, such as a naked women happens to walk by, or I accidentally click on a link to some free internet porn, the little guy grows - He GETS HUGE!!! Well, ok, maybe not huge, but above 7 inches...and by 7 I mean 6.
This isn't bad, I have a nice, average cock, perfect for all potential usages. I"m quite fond of him really...in fact on those slow, quiet, lazy afternoons when I have nothing better to do I'll often pull him out just to admire him...the firmness...the sleek lines...the raw power that is my penis!! I'll admire him for a few minutes, and then put him away, safe again, in my pants. It's a good life.
Before Craigslist I had always assumed that every guy had a grower. It only makes sense, mine grows cause that's the way that male genetalia is made!! Suddenly I thought back to all those times walking around locker rooms with my little 3 incher dangling ( can a 3 inch cock dangle??), and I wondered if guys who were 'showers' thought that was all that I had to offer!!
Now, since I"m not gay I don't really care too much about other guy's opinions on my unit, but it did start the ball rolling......
What if, for example, I'm sitting on the couch, watching the Leafs, with a hot babe beside me. Say that we've never had sex before, but she's suddenly really horny and feeling 'adventurous' and so she kinda reaches over and sticks her hand down my pants. Suppose her hand is cold.
So, there she is with her hand down my pants while I'm watchign the Leafs and her hand is COLD. What do you think the little guy's reaction will be? Well, he's probably going to be a little scared and confused and it'll take awhile before the shock of the situation wears off and he springs into action.
Meantime, Hot Babe is wondering why I have such a small stick because she's only ever been with 'showers' before and so thinks that whatever size a guy is when soft, is pretty much what you get when hard. She quickly pulls her hand out of my pants, makes some excuse about pancakes or early morning workouts and leaves.
What if this happens!!! It could happen!!! Seriously, it could!!!!
Man, it just creeps me out thinking about it....
So, ladies, give a guy a chance, ok, he may have more to offer than you first realize.....
P.S. I"m moving back to T.O at the end of the month after being gone for a decade, so if any of you ladies wanna see what I mean by 'grower', drop me a line..muahahaha...
P.S.S I also need a job. Drop me a line if you have one of those, too.
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p.s this is from my sexually satisfied neighbour. x