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harlow

South Africa

Member Since 2006

Followers 178 Following 151

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Monday Oct 23, 2006

Oct 23, 2006
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its funny how, everytime something goes tits up in my life, the first thing i think about is doing something drastic to my appearance because i feel like then people will see im not the person they thought i was and that they treated me all wrong because of it.

i want to change my hair. i want it to be platinum, red and black. and im thinking about cutting it into a shaggy bob too. its taken me a long time to grow it long, but i want something spunky, something fierce. because i am fierce. i am not a nice girl. im fiesty and im not afraid of voicing my opinions or pissing people off. i offend people all the time but not because im shit, its because everyone is so fucking straight laced and so protected in their little comfort zones and im the master boat rocker.

haha, harlow's school of boat rocking: how to shake the status quo.

so im in london this weekend and i shldnt be spending any money, but fuck it, i want my hair changed and if i can, im gonna get another tattoo. its about time.

and when i get back, im gonna get lawrences skateboard and skate everyday while my website picks up. i might hav to go dance at teazers to get me by. i really dont want a job, thats why im doing this website. so i can work for myself, when i want and take my frustration out on losers who pay me to degrade them. hell, it may even be good for my job at teazers haha!

i have fallen deeply and irreversable in love with chloe. this girl to me, has the most perfect body, perfect face and looking at her makes me all warm inside. so cheeky, and so fiesty and so worth it. i wish i could be as cool as her.

i wish i could afford to get my arms tattooed. and i want to get "hope" tattoed on the inside of my left arm to balance out the "freedom" on my right arm.

havent heard from the kiwi yet. i hav a feeling he has a girlfriend or is into someone else cos he didnt make even the slightest move on me on sat night even tho he was super interested. that or he's super shy, but i doubt it. anyway, i hav plenty of interests to keep me busy. almost. the ozzie, eddie asked if id be at salmonella dub on wed night. so i guess he wants to see me there even tho he is going back to london on thurs. he shldnt hav played it so cool. or maybe i just spent too long thinking about it. i wish i could care less sometimes.

sometimes i want things to be perfect so bad that i end up self destructing.

i do know, however, that i am tired of being taken for someone im not, and i feel like modifying my appearance will gain the respect i tend to smack people over the head for.

i am so black and white.
nice girl VS bad girl
sweet girl VS nasty girl
i swear im skitzo. confused

anyway, i had a whole host of eloquant ways to express my thoughts and feelings for the day and all i can remember is biting back tears as i walked home tonight and passing a group of old guys and one of them said "god, shes beautiful". people always say my eyes come alive when theyre filled with tears...

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