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harlequinn

Member Since 2007

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Monday Apr 23, 2007

Apr 23, 2007
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My friend and I were discussing this a few days ago and for some reason it popped into my head again today.

Most women (men too, to a lesser extent) go through at least one pregnancy scare in their life. We are inundated with messages of practicing abstinence or using protection; the latter is reasonable, safe, good advice. However, accidents happen. Your inhibitions are lowered, you feel invincible and don't use a condom. The condom breaks. The pill is not as effective as you thought it would be. Etc. etc. I think it's safe to bet that many of my female friends have had these scares, have had to take plan B, maybe even gone to an abortion clinic. I don't judge them for any of that; worrying you're pregnant and such a young age is one of the most terrifying and intimidating feelings one can ever feel, in my opinion.

But then we grow up and a lot of us want children. I know I will; my body craves children often. As I've mentioned, I have the quintessential "fertile" female's body. I've been bred to give birth, which is fine by me. I look forward to it, but way in the future, not now. The unfortunate thing that seems to happen, perhaps not that often but enough to hear about it, is that we, as women, assume for so long that getting pregnant would be as easy as snapping one's fingers. Hence why we use all the protection (besides STI prevention). But then many of us actually try and all of a sudden there's a glitch. The body has a flaw, or the partner does, and conception doesn't hit us like a hurricane. Our womb stagnates and our monthly periods seem vindictive; our body has turned against us. This is something I worry about. My mother told me, in the past, that the first two times she had unprotected sex she got pregnant each time. Thus I've had many occasions when I feared that I might get pregnant after making a bad decision or not being sure I took enough precautionary measure. But now I worry that this won't be inherited; rather, that my fallopian tubes will shrivel up like tulips greeting October, my uterus will become stone and my body, after all the hate I've put on it, will get back at me in the worst of possible ways.

At least I'm very sure about adopting. But I want at least one of my own. Most of you will probably think it's very strange that I'm already actively considering childbirth at the age of 20 but I've been convinced for most of my life that I'd be a mother. There's never been a doubt in my mind that I wouldn't adopt, and more recently my body has been begging me to get pregnant already. That won't happen for quite some time or, if I worry enough, maybe never.

My aunt is having a hard time conceiving. If I were to become pregnant at this age, my question would be whether or not to get an abortion, give the child up for adoption, or ask her if she would want to take it.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
tex13:
My wife is unable to have kids, and its very hard on her so I understand what you're talking about.
Apr 23, 2007
tex13:
We have talked about adoption.
Apr 24, 2007

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