harlee_xo

November's really not been the greatest month for me so far. I think I'm bummed since it's getting super close to the holidays and our families are on the opposite coast. My parents are coming out here for Christmas so my dad can see our new house, but it's not the same. I mean, I come from a big Italian family -- family is REALLY important. I just never expected my life would turn out this way, I suppose.

I've been thinking a lot about how much it sucks to live in this small, impoverished town. I never thought of THIS when I thought of California. I was so naive. Blarg. I don't want to be Debbie Downer...I don't want to complain all the time...because really, that's not fun for anyone... but the more I put a happy face on, the more it eats me up inside. I'm screwed if I express my feelings, and screwed if I don't. Damn you, catch 22.

SuicideGirls is always a good place for me to vent though...I feel safe here. There are no consequences if I say something or feel something in my blog because no one in this town will ever see it. This is truly the only outlet I have...with the exception of my husband. My friends here don't understand...my friends in NY think it'd be so easy to just pack up and leave...and my in-laws will just read some Bible verse to me...and my parents are already sad I'm here.

Lame.

xo