This blog may be a little jumbled and jivy as I don't really know how to structure it and will just be going on as I think but bear with me.

So, with, let's just say the current world situation finally improving, I think I am finally ready to get back into the dating scene. I am a straight male. I am not trying to brag or say that's special. I am saying just for it to be understood. However, that's where the problem lies. It's quite difficult anymore for me to be romantically attracted to someone. Hanging out as friends in a group and having fun? Easy. Actually romantic interest? Not so much. I realize a lot of the problem lies with me. It's not that I am a bad person or anything. I have my faults as anyone else but I am just old fashioned. I am not going in for flings or one night stands. I am looking for something real and lasting and I am the kind of person who wants to get to know another before delving into any kind of relationship beyond friendship. Note that I don't have any problems with flings or one night stands if it works for someone else that is completely fine. It just doesn't work for me.

I am not one of those go out and have a wild time at the bar getting completely wasted. Sure, I like that from time to time, here and there but mostly I am more comfortable bar wise in somewhere quieter, more down to earth. Somewhere were the play old blues, jazz and hell even older country ((whiskey and Jim Reeves velvety voice, yes please)). I am more comfortable in a relaxing atmosphere were we can really talk as conversation is really important to me. I love jazz clubs and the more old style, classy style kind of venue rather than the "whooooo hoooo, let's get cruuuuunk" kind of atmosphere. Again, yes from time to time that can be really fun and there is nothing wrong with others enjoying that, responsibly of course, but you get it. I recently went to a "barcade" the other night with the boys and that was a lot of fun.

I am extremely fascinated with the strange, mysterious, eerie, unsolved, unknown, haunted etc. I have a real sense of adventure. I want to go out and explore abandoned and creepy places. I want to look into the strange and unusual. I want to check out allegedly haunted places. I have always found the unknow and odd side of life to be so interesting. I love the paranormal the occult and things that really make you wonder what's happening or what's going on. For example, I really want to go drive down Clinton Road in New Jersey. I also love me some true crime/trivia. I'll argue up and down that Manson wasn't technically a serial killer.

Indoor dates can be fun, especially when the weather is cold but I am more of getting out and going on adventures. Sure staying inside, relaxing, watching movies, cuddling, playing games, etc. surely has it's place it's getting warmer and my sense of adventure is calling. Note the paragraph above but add hiking, road trips even if they aren't particularly to somewhere weird or creepy, lake trips, camping etc. I just love being outdoors. Tonight I went bowling then afterward drove up to a lookout and just chilled in my car for about 15 to 20 minutes just relaxing and taking in the scenery.

I used to be into the really nerdy stuff. I am still pretty fond of gaming but not quite as much as I used to be. That's also a more solo/personal thing. I am not really into anime that much anymore. I find a lot of the things I used to like in my 20's to be fairly weird now. I used to be very socially awkward and I have come out of my shell a lot more in the past years so I think a lot of that honestly reminds me of my younger years and it's not something I like to think about. Obviously I have no problem with people who like those things but it's not really "me" anymore. However, I would like to find someone who likes to play D&D or other similar campaign games. I think that's because that's also somewhat personal at least and really requires imagination.

On that I find imagination fascinating. I am also trying to start writing more. In fact right now I am working on a "old horror" style of story featuring to lighthouse keepers that start experiencing strange and odd occurrences. I include this because I want people to get a better understanding of who I am and that's a piece of me. I love to discuss ideas for stories, ideas in general, ideas that take a lot of imagination. Sure, someone ((Shakespeare, I think)) said "There's nothing new under the sun" and while that is true to a point it doesn't mean there can't be interesting ideas. I have a very active mind and imagination. People may look at me and see me as quiet or reserved but honestly my mind is usually going a million miles a minute which is both a blessing and a curse.

It doesn't help that I work a lot. I am a hard worker and always have been but I put in a lot of hours in the week and usually only have the weekends to do things. Obviously I can take time off and all that but I rarely do. ((Work hard, work hard, work hard, Pops ol' boy.)) I also "don't shit where I eat" for lack of a better phrase. It's even harder for me to find someone at a job romantically attractive than it is in general. It also doesn't help that in my last few jobs most people are in their 20's or 40's ((Though I do love "mature" women..... but that's a topic for a whole other blog as well as how submissive I am and THAT aspect f the relationship)) Sure I can kid around with people at work, have fun, go out after work ((well... not so much with my current job... but I definitely could with my last job)) but there is no real attraction or interest beyond that.

Alright, time to wrap this up. I don't want to ramble on forever. I just got home a little bit ago and I just feel like getting out somewhere, sitting under the stars, having a fun talk with people, serious or not, romantic or not. Maybe that also helps get a better picture of who I am. I don't fucking know. I'm not an unconfident person. I know who I am. I know what I like. I know I am interesting and I am really proud of myself.

Alright... well that's it. I may expand in the comments if people leave any but I think that is it for now. Thanks for sticking with this longer than usual blog. I do these things here because it's not really something I can talk about on general social media and the community here has been pretty supportive of my last blogs so thank you for all input and support on those, this one and future blogs. Pops out.

Actually one more thing. I proofread this and I noticed it's fairly... rambling. I don't think there is anything wrong with that but it does peek into how my mind works. The somewhat jumbled thoughts, the sudden inner thoughts marked by brackets and the whole overall style of the blog.