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hardboiledshamus

Asheville

Member Since 2006

Followers 132 Following 295

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I have a lot to think about with life right now.

Sep 5, 2019
15
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So, as I have said before whenever I need to blog about something more serious I come here. Unlike Facebook I don't actually know anyone on this site. It makes it easier to more openly talk about things. The time has come to do that once more.

For a while now I have been realizing I need new and different friends. This has been something on my mind for a few years, but it's really become apparent this last summer. It's not that I don't love my friends, it's that I am not how I used to be in a lot of ways and I am moving away from them in certain ways. Basically, it's my sense of adventure. Most of my friends aren't "shut-ins" but they would rather stay home and play video games or watch movies than go out. Now, I used to be like that quite a bit so I can understand how we bonded and became friends. However the older I get the more I pull away from that. The older I get the more I see those things as something to do after I get home from adventuring and settle down for the night or in the winter when it is cold and I don't feel like going out as much.

I spent a good portion of my life, too long, being shut indoors. Don't get me wrong, I am a gamer at heart, always have been but the time and places for those things are becoming more and more, in my mind, as I stated earlier. I want to get out, I want to go out in the woods, hike, go to the lake. I want to see new places and travel, visit different locales and see which one feels the most like home to me. However, what I REALLY want to do is explore the strange and unknown. Haunted places, abandoned places. weird places etc. I have a fascination with the mysterious and unknown. I love that adrenaline kick you get from being "creeped out." I really just want to get out and try new things. Not just play games, watch TV, go to the movies and do indoor shit. I just want to go out on adventures, get out there and enjoy things.

I don't really know how to describe it. It's just one of those feelings you have to have to understand. I find myself getting bored more easily, not wanting to do the same stuff over and over. I realize work has a lot to do with that. I like my job, but I am always there. I have a lot of time off I need to take and I need to take it. I am not depressed but I feel as if this keeps up it will lead to depression.

I am not who I used to be. I am still introverted but I am also much more outgoing.

I hope this rambling makes sense.

jimmieknuckles:
I've always been quite an adventurer. whenever I've been confronted with a lease ending, etc. I've always thought  my head "well, its going to cost me x to move to a new pace, why not just move to another random city or country  instead of just in my backyard" that midset has lead to a ton of new cities, new friends and countless adventures.  perhaps you experiencing a type of wanderlust? who knows really? make those thoughts a reality, i don't think many people die saying they had too many new experiences
Sep 6, 2019

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