haraggan

Bleah - I was rejected in my bid to become "e-resources assistant" at the University of Edinburgh library. No explanation. At least I wasn't told that I'm overqualified; that would have provoked an explosion, I think. I'm still looking, but haven't found any other decent prospects lately. I'm quite depressed today. Actually, I was pretty depressed yesterday, too. Whenever I start to feel like this I worry: having been through major depressions before, every stirring of those old feelings frightens me. Apologies to the many people I owe messages - when I get like this, communicating becomes incredibly strenuous for me.

Last week was actually quite lovely, though. Kristi's family came to visit, and we took them to many of Edinburgh's attractions. We spent a day at the Royal Botanical Gardens, which are quite huge and overwhelmingly lovely. I fed squirrels, ducks and pigeons. The animals in the gardens are very friendly... the squirrels climbed into my hands to collect peanuts and I was able to touch them. I've often wondered what a squirrel's tail feels like - now I know. They are so soft it's almost like stroking air.

A duck couple seems to have adopted me. When I ran out of food I had to move on and, later, they spotted me in a different part of the garden and landed in front of me, squawking. It was very cute.

The next day we went to Hollyrood Park - the largest urban park in Europe. I'm not sure what keeps it from being the largest urban park in the world; it's hard to imagine a bigger park, or a prettier one. We stopped at a lake to feed more birds - primarily Edinburgh's gregarious swans. They're a companionable lot and also let me pet them while they're eating. After the food runs out they don't leave - they settle down, groom, and then nap in large white feathery bundles around me. Quite nice. Occassions like that are about the only thing that make me happy.