happycherries

I don't know how to "be" in my marriage. I know that it's falling apart. There have been times already that we've concidered divorce and we've only been married a little over a year. I feel like there are three major things that he does that make our relationship hard. 1) He dosen't listen to me. So that makes me feel like what I say doesn'e matter. 2) When we fight and I feel bad because he's said hurtfull things to me he wont comfort me because I don't deserve comfort. and 3) He dosen't show any emotion about anything. He's always on one level.

I know that it takes two people to have a realationship and I am certianly not flawless. We fight allot because I shop untill I have no money left. I'm aware that I do that but I shop to comfort myself. I don't have any other way to get these horrible feelings out. I can't drink, I can't do drugs, smokings a no, no casual sex, no hitting, no throwing or breaking household items. I can't kill myself So I shop.

I've been informed that I'm dragging our family down.........

I thought that I was that one who to care of this family. I try to take care of them. I get the children up, I dress them, I take them to daycare and then I work. At my job I physically take care of other people. People I don't even know. But I want to take care of themI love what I do. I also pick up the kids from daycare and usually start dinner when I get home. I clean and do laundrey on the weekends. If one of the kids is sick I take them to the doctor I get the medicin and I stay up with them all night long.

I don't know why Jason had to say that I was dragging the family down. It was just such a horrible punch at me. I wonder if he really thinks it's true. I don't know wich I'd rather it be. That he wants to say things that he knows will hurt me beyond beleife or that he realy thinks I'm dragging the family down.