happyboy

I was at the market the other day buying my usual bachelor crap when this old guy, must have been in his seventies I think, walked by and then cut a huge, loud fart. And, it may sound weird but, I was kinda jealous.

He walked by, got a couple aisles away and let it loose all over the dairy section he had just passed. It could have been he was lactose intolerant and was launching a personal protest of a sort. Anyway, there were a few people around who didn't seem to notice, I don't know how, sometimes when you pull off one of those perforated plastic bags to put vegetables in it makes a fart-like sound but, man! this was loud! There was one guy besides me that did notice the commotion, his face said it all as he turned around and walked away from the blast area.

The old guy was so cool about it though. He didn't get embarassed or try to play it off, didn't even say excuse me, just kept on going with his shopping like this sort of thing happens all the time. I thought he might be deaf but then I later saw him talking with one of the clerks.

I think to be that unself-conscious is kinda cool. I've accidentally "expressed" myself in public a few times and it is always embarrassing to me even when there's no one around. Maybe this guy felt, "I'm an old coot, I've earned the right, screw it! I ain't gonna hold it in."

It's totally natural, every one does it now and again. The Pope farts, Grandma farts, Brangelina fart all the time I'm sure of it, Prince probably started wearing his ass-less pants during performances to remove any and all obstruction, it's a part of life and I say 'why be bloated when you can cut the cheese and be done with it?'

FARTING IS NOT A CRIME! LET FREEDOM RING!