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hansel

Member Since 2003

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Tuesday Jun 13, 2006

Jun 13, 2006
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Today I finished my last college class. I expect to pass all my classes this quarter with at least a B. I wouldn't be surprised if there are a couple A's. In short, I am a college graduate.

I've been in school ever since I can remember. There have been no appreciable points in my life where there have been gaps in my education process: my entire life has had homework and schedules as some part of its dialogue. I don't intend on going into a master program. At 25 (yay, almost 26!), I can say that school is no longer a part of my life. I don't think that is to say that I'll stop learning. I would hate to be the kind of ass-hat that sits around all day. Maybe I'll start reading for pleasure. Though I get ready for bed tonight a little surprised that it ended without a party, without a bang. 20 years boil down to little more than a whimper: it ended with a nice glass of wine, family and a dog. A far nicer way than I suppose I deserve. I am blessed to be loved by such wonderful people.

Still, I cannot believe I am done. I cannot believe that there's nothing left: no final essays, or last minute powerpoint presentations, or ridiculously tedious tasks. There is nothing I forgot to do, or can do to improve my standings. It's simply over.

Yet, now I'm expected to believe that the real work begins. In all this talk of finding a job, in moving on, in buying a house, in growing up; I find I really just want a happy house to put up around me and the ones I love. I want more glasses of wine and more laughing. I don't want to work all day or night for somebody who won't ever remember my name, or acknowledge me on an elevator. I want the next Harry Potter book to come out and the next Suikoden to be released. In the end I turn out to be a very simple person. i wish people understood me a little better.

Living out in North Portland, I just don't feel like hanging out. A friend told me when I moved in: "man, living out here, we're never going to see you again." Destroyer says that: "there's a give and there's a take.." I guess that sums up how I feel. Still, I need to call some friends and shake off this melancholy I've been feeling. I suppose that can wait until Thursday.

Good night.

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
corpho:
Yes, perpetual school. I remember when I used to say, "I wish I could be paid to go to school because I wanna do it for ever!" I would shoot that version of me if I ran across her again.

Anyway, I saw your profile pic on bluelight3's page, and figured my profile pic should meet yours. They seem to have a thing or two in common. Okay, maybe just the color red.

Go, red!
Jun 16, 2006
angelvanilla:
If you have time, could you come on-line, I need to chat for a bit!
Jun 17, 2006

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