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hansel

Member Since 2003

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Sunday May 28, 2006

May 28, 2006
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I just watched part of the worst movie of all time. I have no idea what it was. But it was crap. Real crap.

Now then. I have decided that my journal will now be a "choose your own adventure" style of journal writing. The decisions will be based on majority of course. Here's the first choice:

You are walking through Portland and it is raining. The rain is dropping against your glasses, your deep breaths are fogging them up. In the distance you thought you saw something move. It was like a falcon. A large falcon with horns and teeth. Teeth like lions. Talons like sock monkeys with dementia. Or grandmothers with dementia.

Then you're all like, fuck it. That looks like a really dark alley way and is possibly dangerous. Maybe I should get get a beer at the 'vern?

You are me. What would I do?

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
A) Make love to my Minotaur


SPOILERS! (Click to view)
B) Take a lot of Valium and go to the 'vern


SPOILERS! (Click to view)
C) Declare in a authoritative tone: "I'm your Father, I'm your Father!"


SPOILERS! (Click to view)
D) Watch Point Break with beer and a strawberry pie (it's a triangle)


SPOILERS! (Click to view)
E) Eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich and watch Harry Potter slash (again!)


VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
cheech:
SAM ELLIOTT!! with his BIG MUSTACHE!

and Kelly Lynch dressed as a PIZZA HUT TABLECLOTH!

also, that big fat redneck henchman of Ben's

Patrick didn't need to make a blues band like Steven Seagal, as he had his own blues movie! And it was named Roadhouse!
May 29, 2006
cheech:
I'd like to see Kareem Abdul-Jabbar roundhouse-kick* Steven Seagal!

*

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Not to be confused with a Roadhouse-kick, which would only be Mr. SWAYZE

May 29, 2006

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