The internet has taken over my life. If I'm not on the internet I'm wondering what people I care about are doing on the internet. If I innocently check my myspace, or go to leave a cute comment on Anthony's myspace, I get sidetracked by trying to figure out what the last girl meant when she commented on his myspace. I know he thinks my jealousy is absolutely adorable (or so he says), it's driving me up the wall. I feel so horrible that I can't trust him, and I try my best to, but lately, try as I might, everything goes back to whether or not he really does love me.
Part of this is a jumble of old information from his ex, while I know she was only warning me, I think her warning has only fueled the fire of my jealousy and paranoia. I hate that I've let someone who hurt him greatly, dictate (unknowingly) how I feel about him.
I'm falling apart, and I know that eventually, his careful and loving way of putting my pieces back together won't work anymore. Or he'll be so tired of having to do it that he'll just give up, and leave me in pieces.
Through all of this, I know in my heart, in my soul, that this man, this wonderful, adorable, loving, nerdy nerdy man, is who I was meant to share my entire life with. I just don't know how long that life was fated to last.
Part of this is a jumble of old information from his ex, while I know she was only warning me, I think her warning has only fueled the fire of my jealousy and paranoia. I hate that I've let someone who hurt him greatly, dictate (unknowingly) how I feel about him.
I'm falling apart, and I know that eventually, his careful and loving way of putting my pieces back together won't work anymore. Or he'll be so tired of having to do it that he'll just give up, and leave me in pieces.
Through all of this, I know in my heart, in my soul, that this man, this wonderful, adorable, loving, nerdy nerdy man, is who I was meant to share my entire life with. I just don't know how long that life was fated to last.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
bonney:
I worked at Borders for two years, and specifically at the San Rafael location for a year. As a recent Borders employee, I can tell you they are having harder times than most retailers. They tend to hire a couple people at the start of every summer, to beef up the staff and get ready for winter/people going back to school. Now's the time that they'll be looking at recent applications, bad news if you applied more than a few weeks ago. If you want, I can give one the managers there a call. People know me. 
bonney:
Just lemme know. If the power structure hasn't changed, I know the GM at the Santa Rosa Borders, too.