Friday Apr 03, 2009

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Fuck. I'm rather depressed right now. I feel like I'm not good enough for Kyote. Like I don't deserve him, like
I'm truly not what he wants. Like at any given moment he could tell me to get out, because the parties over,
or something. I don't know. Like maybe my sadness is too much for him. Or something. I don't know. I still feel
like he wants her more then me. Like, I'm just his stand in because she lives in another state. Fuck.
I know it's ridiculous, but I do. I feel like I have to do something to prove to him that I'm the one he wants. I wish
I'd never been stupid, and snooped. I wish I was still blissfully innocent to that PM. Because it's playing hell on
my emotions, and I don't like it. It makes me wonder if I'm just not doing it for him. I don't know. I feel like the
second pick. Maybe not even second. What if I'm not even in the top ten of people he wants? Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dollface___:
I know exactly what you mean. I really am going through a learning curve at the moment of just "go with it" instead over "over analyse EVERYTHING" because I know I'll end up pushing him away through my own insecurities. -sigh- Who'd be a girl, huh? Chin up sweety kiss
mel_belle:
thanks for the encouraging words doll.. I am over it now..just put me in a weird place.. I am going up and down on this situation that my bro is in and so much focus is on him.. I just feel at times I get the short of the stick.! bot for now I am over it..

Don't let him get you down and don't doubt yourself.! I don't know to much that is going on but he is with you because he wants you! you don't have to prove anything to him and if you do he isn't worth it then..I hope that made sense too =] *hugs n Kisses* kiss

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