music: billy idol - shock to the system
mood: scared and confused (a little)
today has been weird. i'm glad it's over and i'm about to escape to san andreas for a few hours to fly planes and kill people.
my muscles still ache. i can't remember to what extent i described it yesterday, but after that wack dream, i woke up with the mad cramps in all of my limbs. i've tried ibuprofen, which works a little bit for a while, taking vitamins, which i think will help more as time passes, and trying to stretch my joints and limbs.
the problem is, as i worked, everything muscular on me was too tight and it hurt to move. at first i thought maybe it was a flu symptom, but someone said they thought i hadn't had enough water. except this isn't what the dehydraiton i've ever encountered felt like. i still think i've been tensing up too much in my sleep and that worries me, for my health (mental and physical) but also for the fact that i can't control it unless i can become lucid in every dream and then i don't think i'll get any rest, so it spirals out of control.
an unexpected upside seems to be some much better muscle definition and tone, not to mention in some cases i'm a little stronger than before my days off of work. but in others i'm far weaker, like my biceps, which caused me to almost fail to lift a 50 pound bag of salt at work. scary.
so work finally ended, no major issues, no drama and i was late leaving because i couldnt find the guy i give my paperwork to and had to wander the plant, in pain and in a vietnam-era navy issue jacket (not the peacoat, mind you. i'm not as think as you might emo i am) with the heat on.
so finally, i'm out. i fell into my seat and drove to wally world in search of a billy idol cd. any billy idol cd, since i had hitherto lacke done. i got the greatest hits, good deal. 9 bucks for a shitload of songs, some of which i had forgotten were his. and at least two of which are covers.
these few weeks have been those of change for me. life altering happenings, epiphanies galore, and some further evolutions of my lifestyle choosings. one such epiphany is of the similarities between billy idol's career, according to the cd leaflet, and my own troubles and trials as a musician. except he went to america and i'm not leaving.
on a side note, a 13 year old on xanga mentioned how he's going to leave the country eventually, according to his "don't like it? get the fuck out" philosophy. now, figure in the five or so years until he's able to even leave his parents house to live elsewhere, another president will be elected and a lot of this shit may fade out a bit. so it leaves me to wonder if i'm the only one who thinks about ANYTHING intelligent relating ot politics.
of course, i realize ms. mkila (who will have to regale me some time as to what that means) was very right a long time ago when she told me this war wasn't about oil and i was blind and stubborn and didn't realize it was more about money and control than anything else.
see, i am a male (read: "man") and i can admit my errors. be nice if the prez could too though. i think that means i'm a bigger man than the president. ah well, whatever.
anyway, the kid's comment made me think for a bit and made me kind of pissed at how stupid the "smart" people are if they think running from the problem will help. i've always advocated the bushido (whoa. there is a MAJOR bad pun there and i never saw it before. way of the warrior. BUSHido. yipe!) and samurai ways of dealing with most things, and that is to face them head on and just fucking WIN. so it's a good thing that the week before the election i, in a totally separate incident, stopped any alcohol intake and had ot remind my mom of this tonight when she asked if i was having a beer a night or anythign and my body was hurting form fighting alcohol in my system. needless to say, that is/was not the case. but i will face the next four years with a totally clear head.
uh... so anyway, that's it on politics.
back to billy idol.
i used to describe my music as crunk rock, or emucore, just as long as it's not labeled emo, pop punk or whatever junkie titles mtv has made up.
emucore should have been good enough. it makes fun of emo. it's weird. it implies that at the heat, or core, of my music is a large flightless bird that will probably try to bite you if you reach out your hand to feed it. how accurate a description of my musical style!
the crunk rock one lasted about two weeks before someone added the word techno to the descriptor on a flyer, and i don't really understand. techno is annoying one beat three chord shit with halfass lyrics and no point other than to dance and roll until you dehydrate and die. my music is the opposite (i hope). plus, i think a lot of the "open your mind, listen to punk rock" kids don't listen to any rap and thusly don't know what crunk means so the joke falls flat.
as an example, a girl who goes to a lot of shows, and has seen all but two of mine thus far, described me as "the most brilliant person i've ever met" after a two hour drive and some fugazi and bullshitting before she had to be home after a show. i'm not brilliant. i'm just smarter than a bunch of 13-16 year olds. but i'm 24. what do you expect?
not cockiness, mind you. just an observation. a high school graduate, college dropout will be smarter than 98% percent of pre-graduate high school students, so it's not like i'm really that smart.
anyway, so it become crunk rock techno or technoweirdness or whatever.
i like crunk rcok, because it invokes punk rock without actually claiming it.
i've also strayed from making aotm and his package references, because although atom has greatly influenced my course of musical style, he has not influenced my music itself beyond my playing a cover of "(lord it's hard to be happy when you're not using) the metric system" once in a while.
i had the far afore mentioned epiphany regarding a good way to describe my style.
checque this out.
"billy idol and his package, only not really."
i think it's perfect. i have synthesizers, so it reminds you of the cool .005% of new wave. i have guitars and distortion, so it reminds you of not only punk rock's roots in power chords (the rhythm tracks) but also the melody of post punk and just about any pop rock or power pop group(the lead tracks).
so i think from now on, "billy idol and his package, only not really" should appear on flyers after BOYMEETSWORLD.
just please don't call it power pop pr pop rock or pop punk because i don't want to be on mtv or whatever channel they come up with to regrab the attention when you become disillusioned with fuse next week or whenever. and i certainly don't want power, punk or emo in my shit. it's crunk or nothing yo.
aight, i'm done. goodnight folks (all three of you)
mood: scared and confused (a little)
today has been weird. i'm glad it's over and i'm about to escape to san andreas for a few hours to fly planes and kill people.
my muscles still ache. i can't remember to what extent i described it yesterday, but after that wack dream, i woke up with the mad cramps in all of my limbs. i've tried ibuprofen, which works a little bit for a while, taking vitamins, which i think will help more as time passes, and trying to stretch my joints and limbs.
the problem is, as i worked, everything muscular on me was too tight and it hurt to move. at first i thought maybe it was a flu symptom, but someone said they thought i hadn't had enough water. except this isn't what the dehydraiton i've ever encountered felt like. i still think i've been tensing up too much in my sleep and that worries me, for my health (mental and physical) but also for the fact that i can't control it unless i can become lucid in every dream and then i don't think i'll get any rest, so it spirals out of control.
an unexpected upside seems to be some much better muscle definition and tone, not to mention in some cases i'm a little stronger than before my days off of work. but in others i'm far weaker, like my biceps, which caused me to almost fail to lift a 50 pound bag of salt at work. scary.
so work finally ended, no major issues, no drama and i was late leaving because i couldnt find the guy i give my paperwork to and had to wander the plant, in pain and in a vietnam-era navy issue jacket (not the peacoat, mind you. i'm not as think as you might emo i am) with the heat on.
so finally, i'm out. i fell into my seat and drove to wally world in search of a billy idol cd. any billy idol cd, since i had hitherto lacke done. i got the greatest hits, good deal. 9 bucks for a shitload of songs, some of which i had forgotten were his. and at least two of which are covers.
these few weeks have been those of change for me. life altering happenings, epiphanies galore, and some further evolutions of my lifestyle choosings. one such epiphany is of the similarities between billy idol's career, according to the cd leaflet, and my own troubles and trials as a musician. except he went to america and i'm not leaving.
on a side note, a 13 year old on xanga mentioned how he's going to leave the country eventually, according to his "don't like it? get the fuck out" philosophy. now, figure in the five or so years until he's able to even leave his parents house to live elsewhere, another president will be elected and a lot of this shit may fade out a bit. so it leaves me to wonder if i'm the only one who thinks about ANYTHING intelligent relating ot politics.
of course, i realize ms. mkila (who will have to regale me some time as to what that means) was very right a long time ago when she told me this war wasn't about oil and i was blind and stubborn and didn't realize it was more about money and control than anything else.
see, i am a male (read: "man") and i can admit my errors. be nice if the prez could too though. i think that means i'm a bigger man than the president. ah well, whatever.
anyway, the kid's comment made me think for a bit and made me kind of pissed at how stupid the "smart" people are if they think running from the problem will help. i've always advocated the bushido (whoa. there is a MAJOR bad pun there and i never saw it before. way of the warrior. BUSHido. yipe!) and samurai ways of dealing with most things, and that is to face them head on and just fucking WIN. so it's a good thing that the week before the election i, in a totally separate incident, stopped any alcohol intake and had ot remind my mom of this tonight when she asked if i was having a beer a night or anythign and my body was hurting form fighting alcohol in my system. needless to say, that is/was not the case. but i will face the next four years with a totally clear head.
uh... so anyway, that's it on politics.
back to billy idol.
i used to describe my music as crunk rock, or emucore, just as long as it's not labeled emo, pop punk or whatever junkie titles mtv has made up.
emucore should have been good enough. it makes fun of emo. it's weird. it implies that at the heat, or core, of my music is a large flightless bird that will probably try to bite you if you reach out your hand to feed it. how accurate a description of my musical style!
the crunk rock one lasted about two weeks before someone added the word techno to the descriptor on a flyer, and i don't really understand. techno is annoying one beat three chord shit with halfass lyrics and no point other than to dance and roll until you dehydrate and die. my music is the opposite (i hope). plus, i think a lot of the "open your mind, listen to punk rock" kids don't listen to any rap and thusly don't know what crunk means so the joke falls flat.
as an example, a girl who goes to a lot of shows, and has seen all but two of mine thus far, described me as "the most brilliant person i've ever met" after a two hour drive and some fugazi and bullshitting before she had to be home after a show. i'm not brilliant. i'm just smarter than a bunch of 13-16 year olds. but i'm 24. what do you expect?
not cockiness, mind you. just an observation. a high school graduate, college dropout will be smarter than 98% percent of pre-graduate high school students, so it's not like i'm really that smart.
anyway, so it become crunk rock techno or technoweirdness or whatever.
i like crunk rcok, because it invokes punk rock without actually claiming it.
i've also strayed from making aotm and his package references, because although atom has greatly influenced my course of musical style, he has not influenced my music itself beyond my playing a cover of "(lord it's hard to be happy when you're not using) the metric system" once in a while.
i had the far afore mentioned epiphany regarding a good way to describe my style.
checque this out.
"billy idol and his package, only not really."
i think it's perfect. i have synthesizers, so it reminds you of the cool .005% of new wave. i have guitars and distortion, so it reminds you of not only punk rock's roots in power chords (the rhythm tracks) but also the melody of post punk and just about any pop rock or power pop group(the lead tracks).
so i think from now on, "billy idol and his package, only not really" should appear on flyers after BOYMEETSWORLD.
just please don't call it power pop pr pop rock or pop punk because i don't want to be on mtv or whatever channel they come up with to regrab the attention when you become disillusioned with fuse next week or whenever. and i certainly don't want power, punk or emo in my shit. it's crunk or nothing yo.
aight, i'm done. goodnight folks (all three of you)
first time i drove across the california border, i was listening to cradle of love. funny, the things ya remember!
thanks for the pep talk. it's just hard. this jerko i've loved for 5 years now. but i decided i have to erase him. i cannot live every day getting caught up deciphering truth from fiction. it is too draining.
"billy idol and his package."