it's been a while. a lot has changed.
if you think this sounds like it came from a shitty movie, i just wish it had.
i went to nashville for a weekend and when i came back i found my girlfriend had been seduced, brainwashed and hooked on crack cocaine by my sister's psychopath ex-boyfriend. shortly before i got an intervention together, she tried to kill herself by overdosing on benadryl and naproxen sodium.
right now she's living with her parents, court ordered to go to treatment three hours a day and psychiatric visits as well. my shrink advised not to have much if any contact with her until after the rehab.
this started two thursdays ago and ended last friday with the suicide attempt. since then it's been real hard to get up in the morning.
she called naught but half an hour ago, lied to her parents about babysitting to go out and get drunk with friends. i kind of wish she'd called me earlier and just got drunk over here. it's safer and less stress on my mind.
she asked if she could crash here but i said she needed to be home, her parents had set a 2am curfew and it was 215.
at this point it will probably be festivus before we can just hang together. that all hinges on whether she will stop talking to the person responsible, josh. she insists he's her friend and she thinks she might love him, homeless coke dealing worthless piece of shit that he is.
her dad even beat the guy up last time he came over, which is crazy because her dad is so laid back and easy going. i hope josh comes back so her dad can blow his ass away in self defense.
so now i sleep on the sofa, i can't bear to be in that bed anymore. not alone. it's been two days since she got out of the psyche ward and i told her what my doc said about seeing each other and it's been hell so far. i'm getting depressed through the mood stabilizer i take and she's all i can think about. i'm now paying all of th ebills and food costs as well, and it's going to be tight for a while.
my doctor says i need to find a drinking buddy and a fuck buddy to get through this. he seriously did say that. if i could find a drinking/fuck buddy, that would be even better. i'm not holding my breath on either at this point. my dad (the minister) has offered to drink with me and i'll take him up on it but it's not the same. i have a few friends who have offered as well, but onle a small fraction are the type of friends who understand me enough to feel comfortable being drunk around them.
so anyway, that's my update. i knew it would be long but not this long. or maybe i really did. all i know is i don't think i feel any better having typed this than i did before.
i never thought i'd have to be lonely again when i met her, and that makes it so much harder to let go.
if you think this sounds like it came from a shitty movie, i just wish it had.
i went to nashville for a weekend and when i came back i found my girlfriend had been seduced, brainwashed and hooked on crack cocaine by my sister's psychopath ex-boyfriend. shortly before i got an intervention together, she tried to kill herself by overdosing on benadryl and naproxen sodium.
right now she's living with her parents, court ordered to go to treatment three hours a day and psychiatric visits as well. my shrink advised not to have much if any contact with her until after the rehab.
this started two thursdays ago and ended last friday with the suicide attempt. since then it's been real hard to get up in the morning.
she called naught but half an hour ago, lied to her parents about babysitting to go out and get drunk with friends. i kind of wish she'd called me earlier and just got drunk over here. it's safer and less stress on my mind.
she asked if she could crash here but i said she needed to be home, her parents had set a 2am curfew and it was 215.
at this point it will probably be festivus before we can just hang together. that all hinges on whether she will stop talking to the person responsible, josh. she insists he's her friend and she thinks she might love him, homeless coke dealing worthless piece of shit that he is.
her dad even beat the guy up last time he came over, which is crazy because her dad is so laid back and easy going. i hope josh comes back so her dad can blow his ass away in self defense.
so now i sleep on the sofa, i can't bear to be in that bed anymore. not alone. it's been two days since she got out of the psyche ward and i told her what my doc said about seeing each other and it's been hell so far. i'm getting depressed through the mood stabilizer i take and she's all i can think about. i'm now paying all of th ebills and food costs as well, and it's going to be tight for a while.
my doctor says i need to find a drinking buddy and a fuck buddy to get through this. he seriously did say that. if i could find a drinking/fuck buddy, that would be even better. i'm not holding my breath on either at this point. my dad (the minister) has offered to drink with me and i'll take him up on it but it's not the same. i have a few friends who have offered as well, but onle a small fraction are the type of friends who understand me enough to feel comfortable being drunk around them.
so anyway, that's my update. i knew it would be long but not this long. or maybe i really did. all i know is i don't think i feel any better having typed this than i did before.
i never thought i'd have to be lonely again when i met her, and that makes it so much harder to let go.