I feel sick. Not an I'm ill kind of sick, but a deep down in my gut loathing of anything I regularly do kind of sick. I don't want to go to work today, but that's not really a choice. I just want to burry myself in my bed and hope I wake up to something worth getting up. I seriously think I may be going insane. I keep writing my work schedule wrong and showing up on days I'm not scheduled. It's kind of embarrasing. The worst is when I get called on days when I am supposed to work and I'm not there. That's only happened once, but still. I think that going to school, playing in a band, working, and doing a cable access T.V. show might be too much. I hardly sleep anymore, I think might be partially responsible for my behavior as of late. It's getting increasingly difficult to think possitively, but I am looking forward to band practice tonight. That's pretty much the only thing I like anymore. for.
ayin:
Figure out what the most important thing in your life is and make everything else revolve around that: like you said, its band practice that makes you feel better. Thats probably your subconcious trying to tell you something. What could you most easily lose and still get by? That T.V. thing sounds like the least important, and maybe you could drop some classes(?); you kind of need to have a job, but if its music thats really important to you, you really need to focus most of your energy on that. If you don't like your job, quit and work at a music shop or something, and then you'll be around music while your working.