hamtastic

Wow, was I drunk when I made that last blog post? LOLwhat the fuck was that?.

Oh well. Was playing with lights, took that new profile pic. The fullsize is in my pics.

Are you ever just annoyed with people? People in general?

Maybe I am just annoyed with women. Who knows. I know I am slightly sick of humans overall.

I am getting quite tired of trying to find a female that gets me, maybe that is a big part of it. I know I am an oddball but I am nice and fun. There has to...
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I really really really am excited about the next 6 months. There is nothing particular going on, but I am going to be working so hard on removing my fears and letting my creativity be unhindered that is should be interesting. I really really need to start working with some "models" that can help me create some images that I want to create. I think...
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fear fear fear... I am trying so hard to shed all my fears to allow myself to be me... its fucking hard man. I have lived in the comfy embrace of the fear for so long. Not having the slightly suffocating feeling, their safety, their warmth, I don't know what will happen without them.

When I come up with an idea I might run with...
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Tonight I shall fight my social anxiety and go hang out with the local photography meetup group. I hate trying to fit in new groups like new jobs and shit. I am a bit of an odd duck I think, i don't seem to get along with EVERYONE so sometimes I just feel awkward. Too bad this is at a Panera Bread and not a...
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Dating is a frustrating game. I hate that it is a game. Massively lame.

I just would like a girl that likes to go to record stores and get a beer and have fun and crack jokes and thinks I am sexy.

Damn it, I didn't think it would be so hard.

Records, hooray for them. The Black Keys currently blasting hooray.

I realize that I have been blaming other people for what is probably my unsettled circumstances right now. I need to take a deep breath, and get my ducks back in a row.

Would be nice to find someone to have fun with though. Who in SoCal wants to go take pictures? haha.

I shouldn't be so fucking angry but i am so fucking angry, just at people and them being retarded. Mostly women. Sorry, your sex has been acting particularly massively retarded around me lately. SO SICK OF IT.

you know, girls don't make no damn sense sometimes.

Oh well.

If I can find another one that is jsut straightforward with their shit like one ex I had, I'm keeping her for good this time. Cuz trying to figure out new girls is stupid. And I ain't one for game playing. If I like I girl and think she is pretty I'MMA tell them,...
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