halsparks

Hey... Did you ever forget how Joy felt? I dont mean to be morose but I have been made keenly aware lately how long it had been since I had been graced with that particular hue of emotion. I think it had been so long that I forgot that I forgot it. Heh.

Now, Dont get me wrong I have a pretty fun filled life. I spent most of my twenties pushing the big rock up the hill, paying my dues and it soundly and roundly sucked sometimes. But with that I learned to really appreciate all the moments of my life and I generally have a great time now. But Joy? I dont think so. After you get burned enough you tend to have a glass ceiling placed over your emotions or.. install one yourself... that keeps the highs from setting you up for too big a drop. Sure you deny yourself the peak of human experience but you also save yourself the grief of genuine sorrow. or so you think.. then you find out you dont have to feel the top to hit bottom and the ground is hard no matter how far you fall. So what good is the denial then?

Then its too late... Youve shut off the valve and opening it is too much work and heck things are pretty good and ... quite frankly Joy makes you look like a dumb-ass. Seriously what Am I a baby? a baby twitching with a big grin on its face is adorable at 3 months but see an adult doing that and youll think he missed a pill.

Then something slams up against your reality and you have no choice but to have an honest reaction to it. And if that reaction is Joy..watch out.. Youre gonna feel and look like and IDIOT... in a good way... itll feel awkward at first but theres nothing you can do about it. And honestly... I dont wanna do anything about it. Not anymore...

Its amazing how the coolest people are all about how their life is superior to others but then if you take a real good look at their definition of cool... it looks a lot like boredom or even misery. Never understood that. This modern flaccid rage that people mask with irony..or worse sarcasm (The idiots version of a sense of humor) gets really tired really fast..especially when you are trying to have a good time.

I think thats why so many people drink. Its the only way they can allow themselves to feel joy or pleasure.. or just be silly. I dont drink so I just have to do it myself.

Having My Family stay with me... Playing Music with Miles and Rob... fixing my house... Laughing with Kip and Co.... These are things that always feel good. Really Good. but I think I threw water on them a little to quell the emotion. To slow it down incase something goes wrong.

When James came to stay.. It was like a truck plowing through my Bullshit and it felt so good to have her here that everything else felt better because of it.
I have never loved my Band more...
I have never been more proud of My Cousins
I have never felt more at home.. in my home...

Thank you James.... You showed me something that I thought was gone for good.

And now!... for some stupid pictures

The tofu was Golden....

Kelly was so Glad to see James that her Bosom magnetically attracted her Earrings!


Of course..not to be outdone... I was glad to see my cousin Kip too!


And.. is it me or does Santa Barbara have the MOST obscene Bike poles in the country?


You're coming into focus kid.....


I wish you all a spectacular week....

Hal

p.s. Pumpkin Pie!?!?