halokixthislove

I should have been in japan today. Watching as the mass of people walk by.
But Im not. Im here.
I would be there ... if I had thought of myself first and not of others. Here let me explain.
My bestfriend... I love her, shes saved my life. This year she ran out of money to pay for her tuition, and her books. She called me... and asked for money. It hurt to say yes. Anyone who really knows me, knows Ive always wanted to go to Japan. No reason really, I just remember reading a book about it and wanted to go. I have a map and everything, all marked out where I would go... Ive has this since I was 7.
But back to the point.. I gave up my dream to go there so she could stay in school, a school -not to mention- she got kick out of about a month ago, for not going to class.
Im not worried about ever been payed back, money is just money.. it makes things worse. But its my dream that died that hurts.
What brought all this up? I got a post card from a girl that went on the trip to Japan. A girl that doesnt like me much.. a girl that sent it to rub it in, that she was there and I was not.
Its sad to see how far people will go to make themselfs feel better... whats even sadder is when it works.
Just another day for me.
One of these days my kindness is going to kill me. Im sure of it.