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halfjack

bmore

Member Since 2005

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Tuesday Jun 30, 2009

Jun 30, 2009
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This is gonna be mostly bitching. If you want a happy, funny post, go back one. It has pictures and jokes

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I am highly disappointed with the world right now.Over the past few weeks, I've lost all but one of my friends. In the break-up, I lost all of the people associated with the ex. Even those who said things like "our friendship is independent of your relationship with her. And the one I was closest with, is the one now fucking her. They didn't tell me flat out, I just had to wait for calls and texts and e-mails to go unanswered.
It didn't end there.
One of my most dearest friends, and yes, she was an ex, but I still cherished our friendship above all others, for the past few years, finally copped to my attempts to maintain contact, as her not wanting to be caught up in the past, and the past her. I guess she believes I'm the same person I was 5 years ago, but she is of course light years ahead of me now, apparently. Basically, I'm tired of the evolution of cowardice amongst friends. Why can't you just tell me, flat out, to my face, that you don't want to talk to me, in any shape or form, and explain why? What happened to that kind of honesty? What happened to loyalty, and staying true?
This has been on my mind. A lot lately. Friends that just keep fading away, without any warning. I feel very alone. The past few months has put me in a place where I don't know what the point is anymore. I'm trying, I really am, but it's hard to keep on trying to trust people when they just do what you're most afraid of them doing, even when you're not bringing it about yourself (to my knowledge at least).
And today, my sister lost the child growing within her. I'm hundreds of miles away, without any way to truly comfort her, and there is just no one here to support me. I know it's not my loss, but it wasn't too long ago when I had a support system; my bedrock of empathy, gone. Some people have lives of their own. Some, just choosing to isolate. I don't like where we are going. I'm losing my faith in people, and in God. I want to just restore my independence, but I don't want it without a reason to still reach out to people. As of tonight, I don't see the point.

edited to add: also, my awesome roommate just moved out. AND I still can't get over Michael Jackson dying. Two MJ's in one week. WHY!?!?!?



VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
frost:
good, im glad im not the only white trash hick on this site. wink kiss
Jul 22, 2009
dominanefret:
You know I've always been here, right? Even when the shit hit the fan for me I was still here. And I'm not going to choose her to the exclusion of you.



Hosea was the winner of last season of Top Chef.
Jul 25, 2009

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