For the record I've only put off actually updating this until I had something worth updating; also on the record I'm not making that update yet because not much has changed.
I'm still job hunting in secret while still holding onto my current job, the prospects have been about what I already knew they'd be but considering I'm losing hours and now on a 'probation' thats preventing me from getting a raise / promotion after a year of working there the horrible job prospects don't seem all that bad. The job hunt isn't even going that poorly in reality it's just facing the reality that going from a 'specialty' retailer to anything else is going to be hard and finding something I can afford to take is making it harder. The one upside to all of this is the interviews are surprisingly way more relaxing when you don't have that "how the fuck am I going to put gas in my car because I'm flat broke" though floating through your head, it just takes all the desperation out of your pitch to the person interviewing you I suppose.
The other upside is I've actually gotten used to the state of my current job; I'll go mad if I'm there another 3 months but for the time being I've reached the point of getting comfortable with the pain of having to drag myself into work every day. My boss seems happier to because I've gotten better at masking how miserable I am and with her happier my job becomes easier. Besides a few months back i reached a point where I knew I was done with it all and just sort of gave in, I knew it was time to look for something new and at that point a lot of the stress and pressure lifted; works work and past the hours I spend clocked end I'm really making an effort to just let it all go and stop thinking about it.
Lets see on a personal level things are about to reach a proper equilibrium thats become my standard; I'm getting out as much as cash allows and I'm about to ruin (in the process of doing it as I type this, go multitasking) a perfectly good thing with a girl I've been dating. In a nutshell I want a relationship and while I'm happy (even prefer to) take it slow I still have something inside of me that craves knowing if any of this is leading to something more, she on the other hand wants to date and i suppose after tonight would probably prefer we did that less... if ever again.
As much as I hate to see it happen I can't let myself feel to bad because while its been fun dating, hanging out watching movies, and just generally spending time with each other it all feels just a little hallow to me without being able to interject some emotion into it. Knowing, or rather not knowing, if this was all one-sided was driving me up a wall for the last 2 weeks and at least now I've gotten my answers and I can be content with that.
Ah well, past all of that I've been spending a lot of time drawing and painting but thanks to a late night partying that lead to a very confusing walk to my bed I've managed to break my scanner, so nothing to post on that front. I did recently meet an amazing painter who doesn't live to far from me so its been really fun spending time with him recently.
I guess thats it for now, I'm trying a new word processor out as I don't have MSword on this computer and I don't have the money to go buy it (or honestly the desire to) and trying to re-read everything 6 times to make sure my dyslexia isn't making a fool of me is really tiring. I suppose to wrap up a little because its been so long, I have a final interview with someone tomorrow for a new job so Im looking froward to that and I now have hair! it's not long but hey it's more than I've had in years so I'm pleased.
Oh I'm having surgery on Friday morning to have some dental work done, Ill be out about 2 hours and then in pain for a few days afterwards, that'll be fun.
I'm still job hunting in secret while still holding onto my current job, the prospects have been about what I already knew they'd be but considering I'm losing hours and now on a 'probation' thats preventing me from getting a raise / promotion after a year of working there the horrible job prospects don't seem all that bad. The job hunt isn't even going that poorly in reality it's just facing the reality that going from a 'specialty' retailer to anything else is going to be hard and finding something I can afford to take is making it harder. The one upside to all of this is the interviews are surprisingly way more relaxing when you don't have that "how the fuck am I going to put gas in my car because I'm flat broke" though floating through your head, it just takes all the desperation out of your pitch to the person interviewing you I suppose.
The other upside is I've actually gotten used to the state of my current job; I'll go mad if I'm there another 3 months but for the time being I've reached the point of getting comfortable with the pain of having to drag myself into work every day. My boss seems happier to because I've gotten better at masking how miserable I am and with her happier my job becomes easier. Besides a few months back i reached a point where I knew I was done with it all and just sort of gave in, I knew it was time to look for something new and at that point a lot of the stress and pressure lifted; works work and past the hours I spend clocked end I'm really making an effort to just let it all go and stop thinking about it.
Lets see on a personal level things are about to reach a proper equilibrium thats become my standard; I'm getting out as much as cash allows and I'm about to ruin (in the process of doing it as I type this, go multitasking) a perfectly good thing with a girl I've been dating. In a nutshell I want a relationship and while I'm happy (even prefer to) take it slow I still have something inside of me that craves knowing if any of this is leading to something more, she on the other hand wants to date and i suppose after tonight would probably prefer we did that less... if ever again.
As much as I hate to see it happen I can't let myself feel to bad because while its been fun dating, hanging out watching movies, and just generally spending time with each other it all feels just a little hallow to me without being able to interject some emotion into it. Knowing, or rather not knowing, if this was all one-sided was driving me up a wall for the last 2 weeks and at least now I've gotten my answers and I can be content with that.
Ah well, past all of that I've been spending a lot of time drawing and painting but thanks to a late night partying that lead to a very confusing walk to my bed I've managed to break my scanner, so nothing to post on that front. I did recently meet an amazing painter who doesn't live to far from me so its been really fun spending time with him recently.
I guess thats it for now, I'm trying a new word processor out as I don't have MSword on this computer and I don't have the money to go buy it (or honestly the desire to) and trying to re-read everything 6 times to make sure my dyslexia isn't making a fool of me is really tiring. I suppose to wrap up a little because its been so long, I have a final interview with someone tomorrow for a new job so Im looking froward to that and I now have hair! it's not long but hey it's more than I've had in years so I'm pleased.
Oh I'm having surgery on Friday morning to have some dental work done, Ill be out about 2 hours and then in pain for a few days afterwards, that'll be fun.