Around 4:30 in the afternoon today I got called in to the back room to talk with my district manager and go over a few things with her; for the most part I knew ahead of time this talk was coming. I'd be lying to say I was looking forward to it but with it sprung on me so suddenly I wasn't completely dreading it either; in retro-spec that was probably the best mindset to approach such a sit down talk with. While it'd be pretty hard for me to clearly and with complete accuracy detail the whole 30 minute I'll go over the highlights:
First off I was being given a final write up for breaking a fairly major rule of hanging out with employees outside the store and secondly I was also receiving a final write up for the stores performance over the last 6 months. Now as I understand the rules of my company a 'final write up' generally means that once you've gotten that far the next thing you get in trouble for gets you fired; no question. So here I sit with two final write ups, something I'm really not sure is possible and while I was trying to wrap my head around that and weather or not I was going to be asked to turn my keys in today another little twist popped up. It seems the district manager who started this whole talk also has no idea! So at her own pace she'll get back to me on that, the whole 'your fired' or not thing that is.
Perhaps I'm just not mentally equipped to take such news and I generally like to think of myself as productive person when I'm on the clock but after that talk and then being alone in the store for 3 hours I just sort of gave up. I talked to people as if they where simple coming to visit me in my own bored little world, not actually buy things in a store, and I really didn't do anything aside from talk and a quick game of "I'll sell it to you if you can catch me" (this involved me running around while a very sweet and playful girl chased me around). Sadly tonight accounted for the most fun I've had with this job since I've been employed with my company and for all I know tomorrow might be my last day; it's an irony that really hasn't escaped me yet.
Not too long ago a girl I dated pointed something out to me about my personality and general approach to life that I at first couldn't really appreciate but after today I'm really very found of. That is that when under the least amount of stress and worry humanly possible I'm extremely prone to freaking out and messing everything up (drinking too much, being an ass to friends, the whole nine yards) but when I'm very honestly under a lot of stress and pressure I'm at my most calm. While I suppose I could try, probably poorly, to turn that into something great aspect of myself for being able to stay calm when it's called for but I know in reality It's really just a horrible personality flaw I should probably get looked at very soon.
Outside of 30 minutes today was almost the most ideal work day anyone could ever dream of (completely depending on where you work I suppose) and I got to sleep in until noon so really I can't be too upset.
Oh on a completely different note I was going out last night down in little five and my plans got cancelled so I called a few people and got nothing but voice mails so I said fuck it to wasting the gas to drive home so soon and went skating alone. Riding around alone Atlanta at 10pm on a Sunday is about the most ass-backwards thing I can imagine for a 5 foot 8 white guy to be doing but it was very relaxing in a 'nah, I'll pass on the crack' kind of way.
All in all I'm still not sure I'm going in the right direction with my life but it's starting to move a little bit and that's encouraging.
First off I was being given a final write up for breaking a fairly major rule of hanging out with employees outside the store and secondly I was also receiving a final write up for the stores performance over the last 6 months. Now as I understand the rules of my company a 'final write up' generally means that once you've gotten that far the next thing you get in trouble for gets you fired; no question. So here I sit with two final write ups, something I'm really not sure is possible and while I was trying to wrap my head around that and weather or not I was going to be asked to turn my keys in today another little twist popped up. It seems the district manager who started this whole talk also has no idea! So at her own pace she'll get back to me on that, the whole 'your fired' or not thing that is.
Perhaps I'm just not mentally equipped to take such news and I generally like to think of myself as productive person when I'm on the clock but after that talk and then being alone in the store for 3 hours I just sort of gave up. I talked to people as if they where simple coming to visit me in my own bored little world, not actually buy things in a store, and I really didn't do anything aside from talk and a quick game of "I'll sell it to you if you can catch me" (this involved me running around while a very sweet and playful girl chased me around). Sadly tonight accounted for the most fun I've had with this job since I've been employed with my company and for all I know tomorrow might be my last day; it's an irony that really hasn't escaped me yet.
Not too long ago a girl I dated pointed something out to me about my personality and general approach to life that I at first couldn't really appreciate but after today I'm really very found of. That is that when under the least amount of stress and worry humanly possible I'm extremely prone to freaking out and messing everything up (drinking too much, being an ass to friends, the whole nine yards) but when I'm very honestly under a lot of stress and pressure I'm at my most calm. While I suppose I could try, probably poorly, to turn that into something great aspect of myself for being able to stay calm when it's called for but I know in reality It's really just a horrible personality flaw I should probably get looked at very soon.
Outside of 30 minutes today was almost the most ideal work day anyone could ever dream of (completely depending on where you work I suppose) and I got to sleep in until noon so really I can't be too upset.
Oh on a completely different note I was going out last night down in little five and my plans got cancelled so I called a few people and got nothing but voice mails so I said fuck it to wasting the gas to drive home so soon and went skating alone. Riding around alone Atlanta at 10pm on a Sunday is about the most ass-backwards thing I can imagine for a 5 foot 8 white guy to be doing but it was very relaxing in a 'nah, I'll pass on the crack' kind of way.
All in all I'm still not sure I'm going in the right direction with my life but it's starting to move a little bit and that's encouraging.
I like that quote. haha. But I definitely hear what you are saying....I was at a very similar spot as you not too long ago, but I think having a positive outlook, despite all the negative shit around you, really helps push shit in the right direction. It'll fall together soon enough....
Anyways, I'm gonna give you a call one night soon. I'm leaving in less than a week!