THE LENGTH OF THIS ENTRY IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART....OR THOSE WHO HAVE A LIFE TO ATTEND TO...READ ON (AT LENGTH) AT YOUR PERIL
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And here I didn't think I'd make it....WELCOME TO FRIDAY!!!!
So I didn't post anything yesterday because I was in the middle of a tragedy waiting to reach it's conclusion. Now that the end has come I can speak of the events in their whole.
Cats are great. Lost cats are not.
Middle of the night the cat, Calico by name and breed, decides that she should start waking everyone up. Sure 2 am is a great time to wake up and play right? So to save the cats life I decide to let her have run of the house. Or better still just to get her the hell of our my bedroom.
The ONLY time you'll ever hear of me insisting that pussy should be leaving my room. That's all I'm saying on that.
Moving along.....
Little did I know that the roomates bedroom window AND bedroom door were both open. The cat is nosy enough and smart enough to go find these things out. And whoosh just like that she was gone. Sometime between 2 and 5 because the roomie didn't see her when he got home from work that morning and I sure couldn't find any trace of her at 7 when I got up.
Sick people don't need extra stress.
So I spend the next two hours driving up and down every street for miles. I never knew there were so many cats in my neighborhood. Apparently though not mine. Then after checking all the streets I drove up and down every alleway. Think I didn't, I still have gravel stuck in my freaking tire treads. No sign of the cat.
Go home, take a nap. Nice nap, no go look for the kitty some more.
By 3:30 I was past exhausted and had to figure, "well she's not dead in the road I saw that much so maybe she'll come home". Not a big comfort, this is an inside cat who can get lost in the backyard. Then, while laying in bed, I hear the sound of a distressed cat outside. It took me all of 2 seconds to figure out the noise had come from the neighbors backyard from somewhere in their shed so out the back door I rush.
No sign of my cat, but hey there's the giant attack dog pacing around the shed. Then going INTO the shed. Oh crap. I jump the wall and run to the neighbors door and no one is home. My luck can't get any better at this point. So I rush around the house to the front to grab my sleeping roomate and elicit his aid in OPERATION KITTY RESCUE
Sure he worked all night, but it's the late afternoon AND if he had closed his window OR his bedroom door the cat wouldn't be out there so he's getting up, I'll see to that personally!
Well one trip to the bathroom and one smoke break later he was out and ready to be of very little help whatsoever.
Great call, go back to sleep.
If he would knock on the front door I tell him, I'll cover the doggie door while the dog is barking at him at the other end of the house, leaving him to hop the fence and go get the cat while I've got the dog covered. He's too scared to do it. So I offer to switch positions - he's too scared to do that too. Meanwhile the cat has stopped making noises. Quiet is not good. So I keep the dog distracted and call animal control.
Would you believe the frickin local system wouldn't let me dial 0 for the operator??? I had to call 411 to get the numbernand then sit on hold for 20 minutes with animal control, all the while stretching the cord out the back door to watch the dog and listen for the cat. They were about useless..."we can't enter the property if the owner isn't home." and my other favorite song, "the police can, but they won't help us".
Ok folks thats fine, tell that to the neighbors after I've shot their dog. I dare you. It's not their fault or their dogs fault but you're not leaving me any options here. Whaddya know, that got their attention. Suddenly they were on their way and they were going to have the cops meet them there to help us out.
FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER the idiots show up WITHOUT THE POLICE!!! "We have to assess the situation before we can call them". While I stood there trying to figure out how to slice their tires and knock them senseless simulataneously the neighbors son showed up. Lucky break for those useless f*ckers. And of course they saw the neighbor come home and immediately tell me, "looks like you don't need our help anymore and bail without another word".
Grrrrrr......You have equipment I have bare hands and an injured animal on my hand I'll send you the medical bills for putting us both back together you toerags.
It took an hour. A WHOLE HOUR. My only saving grace was that the poor thing couldn't seem to move her back legs so her attacks at me were limited.
No blood. No punctures. No real idea why she seemed unable to move the back legs. Rushed her home to get her calmed down. Once she calmed down and saw that I brought her food and water she did the unexpected, she sat up, then started walking. Ah the power of hunger.
Kept her in bed with me to keep an eye on her last night. We've been in bed today too, with the cat on one side and my cough syrup on the other. Other than a bit of a limp in one leg, that seems to be getting better by the hour she seems alright. She's got a pillow for a stepping stool as she gets in and out of bed during her recuperation.
I guess we'll make it through after all.
Big thanks to my neighbor who just earned himself one Hell of a Christmas gift.
Some thanks to my roomie who at least picked up the veryvickiechick from work for me and tried to get animal control back to the house.
And speaking of those assholes NO THANKS TO MARICOPA COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL who will be receiving a VERY nasty letter from me, hand delivered on Monday.
We now have one very relieved household, and a thankful kitty who suddenly is no longer interested in attacking my left eye anymore. It's almost like her tiny kitty brain is thankful.
You're welcome Calico.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!!
Hades
____________________
And here I didn't think I'd make it....WELCOME TO FRIDAY!!!!
So I didn't post anything yesterday because I was in the middle of a tragedy waiting to reach it's conclusion. Now that the end has come I can speak of the events in their whole.
Cats are great. Lost cats are not.
Middle of the night the cat, Calico by name and breed, decides that she should start waking everyone up. Sure 2 am is a great time to wake up and play right? So to save the cats life I decide to let her have run of the house. Or better still just to get her the hell of our my bedroom.
The ONLY time you'll ever hear of me insisting that pussy should be leaving my room. That's all I'm saying on that.
Moving along.....
Little did I know that the roomates bedroom window AND bedroom door were both open. The cat is nosy enough and smart enough to go find these things out. And whoosh just like that she was gone. Sometime between 2 and 5 because the roomie didn't see her when he got home from work that morning and I sure couldn't find any trace of her at 7 when I got up.
Sick people don't need extra stress.
So I spend the next two hours driving up and down every street for miles. I never knew there were so many cats in my neighborhood. Apparently though not mine. Then after checking all the streets I drove up and down every alleway. Think I didn't, I still have gravel stuck in my freaking tire treads. No sign of the cat.
Go home, take a nap. Nice nap, no go look for the kitty some more.
By 3:30 I was past exhausted and had to figure, "well she's not dead in the road I saw that much so maybe she'll come home". Not a big comfort, this is an inside cat who can get lost in the backyard. Then, while laying in bed, I hear the sound of a distressed cat outside. It took me all of 2 seconds to figure out the noise had come from the neighbors backyard from somewhere in their shed so out the back door I rush.
No sign of my cat, but hey there's the giant attack dog pacing around the shed. Then going INTO the shed. Oh crap. I jump the wall and run to the neighbors door and no one is home. My luck can't get any better at this point. So I rush around the house to the front to grab my sleeping roomate and elicit his aid in OPERATION KITTY RESCUE
Sure he worked all night, but it's the late afternoon AND if he had closed his window OR his bedroom door the cat wouldn't be out there so he's getting up, I'll see to that personally!
Well one trip to the bathroom and one smoke break later he was out and ready to be of very little help whatsoever.
Great call, go back to sleep.
If he would knock on the front door I tell him, I'll cover the doggie door while the dog is barking at him at the other end of the house, leaving him to hop the fence and go get the cat while I've got the dog covered. He's too scared to do it. So I offer to switch positions - he's too scared to do that too. Meanwhile the cat has stopped making noises. Quiet is not good. So I keep the dog distracted and call animal control.
Would you believe the frickin local system wouldn't let me dial 0 for the operator??? I had to call 411 to get the numbernand then sit on hold for 20 minutes with animal control, all the while stretching the cord out the back door to watch the dog and listen for the cat. They were about useless..."we can't enter the property if the owner isn't home." and my other favorite song, "the police can, but they won't help us".
Ok folks thats fine, tell that to the neighbors after I've shot their dog. I dare you. It's not their fault or their dogs fault but you're not leaving me any options here. Whaddya know, that got their attention. Suddenly they were on their way and they were going to have the cops meet them there to help us out.
FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER the idiots show up WITHOUT THE POLICE!!! "We have to assess the situation before we can call them". While I stood there trying to figure out how to slice their tires and knock them senseless simulataneously the neighbors son showed up. Lucky break for those useless f*ckers. And of course they saw the neighbor come home and immediately tell me, "looks like you don't need our help anymore and bail without another word".
Grrrrrr......You have equipment I have bare hands and an injured animal on my hand I'll send you the medical bills for putting us both back together you toerags.
It took an hour. A WHOLE HOUR. My only saving grace was that the poor thing couldn't seem to move her back legs so her attacks at me were limited.
No blood. No punctures. No real idea why she seemed unable to move the back legs. Rushed her home to get her calmed down. Once she calmed down and saw that I brought her food and water she did the unexpected, she sat up, then started walking. Ah the power of hunger.
Kept her in bed with me to keep an eye on her last night. We've been in bed today too, with the cat on one side and my cough syrup on the other. Other than a bit of a limp in one leg, that seems to be getting better by the hour she seems alright. She's got a pillow for a stepping stool as she gets in and out of bed during her recuperation.
I guess we'll make it through after all.
Big thanks to my neighbor who just earned himself one Hell of a Christmas gift.
Some thanks to my roomie who at least picked up the veryvickiechick from work for me and tried to get animal control back to the house.
And speaking of those assholes NO THANKS TO MARICOPA COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL who will be receiving a VERY nasty letter from me, hand delivered on Monday.
We now have one very relieved household, and a thankful kitty who suddenly is no longer interested in attacking my left eye anymore. It's almost like her tiny kitty brain is thankful.
You're welcome Calico.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!!
Hades
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So are you looking to come hang out with other SGAZ kids?