hack

After the black out I ate a pickeld egg and a boiled potato that were in my fridge and I drank some Marquis de Vuillard and when I fell on the floor I saw a cute little fella under my couch. He did a little dance and sang a song (I'm a little beario... but that's all I remember) in an Irish accent and then he sat down and smoked a clay pipe, so I'm guessing he was a leprechaun, though my best gal says in fact I took the last of the Mitsubishis and the potato was bad and therefore the little man under the couch was a hallucination.

Wrong.

That leprechaun gave me special powers.

To wit: The day before Isabel was supposed to hit I was walking along and there was a squirrel on the wire above me chattering at me like a psychotic fucking squirrel and running ahead so he could look down on me with his menacing squirrell eyes, and I thought a nasty thing and then - THIS IS TRUE, I'M NOT MAKING IT UP - the squirrell tipped over and fell down dead and he was stiff as a plank. Serious! My best gal says he must have been electrocuted or something, but I truly feel the leprechaun under my couch has bestowed upon me a great and terrible power, and now Uncle Ben's words (that's Uncle Ben Parker not Uncle Ben on the rice box) keep running through my head:
With great power comes great responsibility.
To which my best gal adds:
With great binges come great hangovers.

HAH!

dook dook dook

BLAM