h34rt4gr4m

if there's not one thing i hate more - it's people asking me fifty fucking questions. look, if i'm not responsive, then fuck off. keep asking me questions and the only response you're going to get is me fucking whigging out on you and a fist to your face, or nuts, whatever i deem appropriate for the time.

*sigh*

i've hit my boiling point i...
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sitting here, the only thing i have to do is download final fantasy piano collections off FTP sites. i welcome you friday, and now i spit at your feet.

granted, i love the music i get, but this is a sunday job, not friday. i should be out with friends, but alas, those don't seem to exist without chris.

i think im going to go...
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today was me and chris's one year anniversary. he said he is planning something for me on saturday but won't tell me what it is. i hate surprises. but it's ok. he's lucky i love him.

job search is kind of stale right now. applied to lots of places. it's early though so someone is bound to call back. the only thing im worried about...
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i've had a lot of positive people telling me it's not wrong of me to follow my heart and it's going to work out for the best, and i honestly believe them this time.

a job that would drive me to smoking, drinking, depression, etc, isn't worth ANY money that it was bringing in.

and i am on the job hunt so if anyone knows...
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that's it. i proved it. i'm totally and utterly retarded.

people told me to follow my heart, so i did. and my heart is stupid. caught up in the moment, thinking i wanted to be liberated from west - i quit. and although it felt good to get out of there, now my head is taking over. it's saying "why the fuck would you follow...
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i think i need to find a way to get the fuck out of iowa. i've been so depressed the last few days. even the laughs i HAVE had seem to be pretty empty. i don't have a clue where i would go or how i would survive there.

plus, i could never leave chris behind, and i don't think he'd come with me. he's...
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i decided to upload a few art pics. two others i'd like to upload i need to take to chris's house and compress them or something, they're way too big. but yeah, that's some of my art. i have so much new stuff i want to scan, but it's such a hassle.

i'll get to it sooner or later.

man i'm bumming today. i'm just so tired of this cycle my life has been in lately. it sucks.

tomorrow my mom wants me to sit at a gas station that is on my brothers way home from school and see if there is a group of kids following him again. i guess today they were telling him they were going to pop him one...
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no matter how many times jojo scratches, bites, or claws me, it's the best feeling in the world when all she wants to do is cuddle and lay on my lap. i feel loved.

tonight wasn't too bad, a night at work and some tiger woods. could have been worse i suppose.

"we live life through boredom and strife..." is that the quote? i don't...
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know what kicks fucking ass? cereal. i used to get up every morning when i was a kid to have a bowl of cereal every morning.

i should just eat cereal everyday. that might help me lose the few extra pounds i like to get rid of.

oh well, i have a healthy appitite because food rocks my face off.

w3rd homies.