Friday Aug 12, 2005

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how fast my mood swings.... oh man...

it's a rainy day
have no money til thursday
feeling rather sad

look at that, I just wrote a haiku.
vincet:
Hope you' fine. I miss you over that fucking time. I sent you a real letter.
Sorry, I'm out, i know...

Friday Aug 12, 2005

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Busy day today.

busy weekend. even busier next week. it's madness!!!!!

I have to all of a sudden deal with a week of last-minute work plus preparations for the big move at the end of the month. I'm excited. I'm soooooo looking forward to getting the fuck out of here. big yardsale at my house tomorrow (saturday) - come one, come all! seriously, email me...
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Wednesday Aug 10, 2005

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quarter after 6 in the morning. coffee #2. amaretto flavour - yuck. next time I think I'll stick to the unflavoured coffees. it's gross, man. puke

yesterday I was advised by both other members of my Morose Performance Art Trio that love is a waste of time (still waiting to find out what a "sucking coid" is exactly :confusedsmile. Any other time I would agree...
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slowtron:
Coid = Void with fast and inaccurate fingers smile

Don't get me wrong - I don't think love is a pointless endeavour - actually the opposite is true in my mind. I *do* however think that we are often apt to try too hard to make things work when things simply aren't working. I think what I've learned in the past while is that sometimes its *good* to leave it behind.
uberllama:
Another thing to keep in mind is that you don't need to be crabby just because you're not in a relationship. Happiness does not require the vitality sucking anchor of a partner. Woop, did that sound bitter? wink

Re: Edmonton. It's all about the people. I have a lot of friends here. Really, I'd much rather be in Toronto or Montreal.

kiss for good measure.

Tuesday Aug 09, 2005

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another cute kid story:

last night I was tired, stressed and have, well, generally been lately surpressing extreme rage, frustration and all the lovely fucked up feelings that tend to accompany a broken heart and the aftermath of a failed relationship infront of my child. but last night turned out to be one of those times when some stupid little things that my son did...
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slowtron:
Kids have a way of putting things into perspective for us grown-ups sometimes... Sorry about the guy - there are lots of good ones out there. Really. Not that it matters - Ubers somewhat right - relationships are a big sucking coid sometimes.

I always wanted to be part of a gang though i'm not sure morose b&w sad picture gang was what I had in mind. Oh, and Uber is obsessed with that crap shocked wink
step:

Great story. Children's perceptions are uncluttered, honest things.

My four year old pulled one on me under similar circumstances not long ago. His words of wisdom to me were, "oh daddy, stop being so silly. Everything will be fine."

The weird thing about that episode and I will never forget it was that he was laughing like a wise old sage schooling the young foolish student.

He is my best teacher - ever.

Monday Aug 08, 2005

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Today I am breathing. though the air is thick and hot again in Toronto. But I am breathing nontheless because it's all I can do when the air doesn't move. gasping for air would only use up the little air that there is and too much energy and I would just pass out. see, if you wait long enough in complete imobility, you will feel...
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Sunday Aug 07, 2005

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i am tired. very tired. time to sleep. Monday finally brings back my usual work and the vastness of time is cinched back into the 9 to 5 (well, more like 4am to 3pm for me). I need to work. I need to feel productive again. and I need to get out of the sun. too much sun... blah
uberllama:
Coffee shop. Welcome back to the real world.
uberllama:
Hey we can't be bitchy 24/7. Something's gotta give every now and again...

Sunday Aug 07, 2005

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sometimes we have no choice but to go in the direction in which we are inadvertantly driven. why put our energies into trying to move a boulder that is just not budging? and the distance we walk increases with time. and with distance, our hindsight becomes more clear. amazing how that works, isn't it? not really all that amazing... again, quite mathematical.

****************************************************************

very good...
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vincet:
Prenez soin de vous. Dans le Nord, il peut faire froid.
Bien vous.

(prenez garde au cynisme, il ne faut pas abuser wink )!
vincet:
no prob. I'm cool. Just believed something else from you. I'm ok. Ciao.

Saturday Aug 06, 2005

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uberllama:
P.S. Go to the beach. I wish I had a beach to go to.
uberllama:
I may wax my eyebrows and insist on wearing shoes that are uncomfortable because they look so damn good, but performance art is too much even for me. Sorry to dissapoint. bok

Friday Aug 05, 2005

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so today I took Sy to see his first documentary: The March of the Penguins.

he fell asleep halfway through after munching really loundly on popcorn next to my ear for the first half and then observing loudly "mom, the penguins don't talk."
Then he instantly (and I mean INSTANTLY) fell asleep (and this is a kid who has not napped spontaneously in the last...
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Thursday Aug 04, 2005

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ok, so today I had a "me" day. to clear my mind a bit, to just take it easy and not feel so damn sad...

so what did I do? I treated myself to some bargain-priced funky tops (I look so purrrrrty now whatever ) and I watched a movie called Me and You and Everyone We Know. Very good movie (for me - perhaps...
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uberllama:
I thought Toronto already was a putrid stew? I miss it though. I'm planning on heading over at some point ot visit my sis. We should get a drink and bitch about the world.

You days are good. Don't worry about being emotional around your mini person. He'll just be more sensitive for it, and therefore a better person. As long as your intentions are good, they'll come through. Happy happy.
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