0
i think the ovewhelming nature of all this packing is starting to slowly make me go mad. seriously. it's unbelievable. so much shit. so much unnecessary clutter and crap. last night I just said "fuck it" and quit. Now here I am unrested (again) and bound by this daunting feeling of repsonsibility. The boxes must be filled, damn it! No more bailing (I've been bailing...
Read More
0
fuck









this









shit












.........un fucking believable







whatever
0
ever caught yourself off gaurd?

I'm sure everyone catches themselves off guard sometimes. Many times. But perhaps for me it's a bit more impactful, since I'm such a damn guarded piece. I've learned so many harsh lessons. Some not so harsh, but heavy, indeed. And I've vowed to myself never to repeat my errors in judgments again... but yet sometimes the scenerios are so reflective...
Read More
step:
Yea. What she said! surreal
0
**** WARNING: ATTENTION WHORE POSTING ****

the death of gypsy is complete! slept a total of about 8 hours monday through friday. that's the ideal amount of hours required for just ONE night of sleep.

but the work is complete. pumped out a dope-ass program for the Toronto International Film Fest and the death is sweeeeeet.

the visible result? well, I look like shit. see...
Read More
0
tonight is an another all-nighter. hopefully the last of the work-week. I'm becoming a zombie, but oddly enough I feel quite happy. "up," so to speak, rather down the usual "down" that accompanies extreme fatigue and robot-ness. Probably cause it feels good to be working so hard at something that I actually feel good about. and I feel myself so strongly on the brink of...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
step:
> it is normal to notice the opposite sex

Oh yes. Agreed. Holy crap your powers of perception are at fucking Yoda strength. Keep 'em there. wink

I think that since April tho I have so supressed that urge that when I started "crotch sniffing" yesterday (hee hee) it was like, "oh yea, girls...i like girls (women...whatever)."

I took it pretty hard on the chin after this breakup and must have just disengaged that crotch sniffing part of my brain.

Anyway, agreed. Casual dating is about all I can handle. Besides I am only here for another couple of months so it would not be fair to another to get all serious - then bail. Sorry. Not built that way.

And thanks for the the tip about replying. Woops. Sheesh.. blush
uberllama:
Happiness is good. If only because it means you will abuse me less, due to a lack of pent up anger and frustration.

kiss
0
...you should never take yourself that seriously... whatever

oh, and I hate cats. cats + humans do NOT belong together. sorry to offend any and all cat lovers out there. EL SUICIDO LOCO miao!! EL SUICIDO LOCO
uberllama:
biggrin

You really wish, don't you? I bet you'd love to watch.
slowtron:
I have no idea what it means but Ubers comment is creeping me out.
0
7 minutes after midnight. it's official: I have one month left in my 20's. That's right, cowgirls n' cowboys - the gypsy's turning 30.

what does this mean?????? eeek
gypsygrrrl:
it means:

1- all my birthdays from now on until 2015 will require that I have at least one #3 candle on the cake.

2- I have a really good reason to make an extra big ordeal of my otherwise forgettable birthday. yes, i plan on getting drunk. but in a very classy way, of course wink

3- wrinkles frown

4- teenagers call me ma'am now blackeyed

5- gravity will start doing evil things to me, hence: will have to increase budget towards beauty products (garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :madsmile

6- if I chat up a 25 year-old guy at the Mac store, I'll be considered a "cougar" (rarrrrr)

7- all of a sudden I become the hidden gem for aging single men with back-hair, height-deficit-disorder, small penises (or is that peni?), living with their mother, looking for a wife, scrambling to penguin up before they turn 50, or having serious complexes/issue that require lifelong therapy (or, if I get lucky, I can get all of the above in one!! yipee!) puke

8- I'll look extra silly on the monkey bars with my kid ooo aaa

9- I'm at least a third of the way through this miserable life and that much closer to death skull

10- I have no more excuses for renting and not owning. fucking hell. bok
0
step:
awesome photos. linus has that same shirt.

ahhh. the testing...

they're our best teachers. no doubt about it.
uberllama:
Hey when you live in a city that fundamentally sucks, you have to make the most of it.

Nice pics. Minus the spit. But that's just me being squeamish.
0
I have to admit, I've been really quite stuck on this "attention whore" thing lately. It's actually, turning me off from making journal entries that go beyond surface detail these last few days. I don't know... for fuck's sake, why can't I just do something like this without over-analyzing it? why can't I write in this journal without thinking about why I am writing this...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
slowtron:
Well there was that one time Llama wore a chainmail thong.

Maybe the middle part of the novella refers to noticing (or not), accepting and starting to enjoy the parts we thought we'd hidden. I agree that lost isn't the right word - in someways the opposite is likely more appropriate though the idea of "finding" oneself is an abstraction itself - suddenly we treat ourselves as an object that requires so form of meaning to be approprated to it. It's silly. And I'm tired and rambling. tongue

Self contradiction! That's why I like our chats, Gypsy. Yes, it's important to me - It keeps me on my toes and it's a part of me I disliked for a long time but now enjoy. Some would likely call it inconsistent - I prefer to think of it as creative lane changing.
slowtron:
Hey! I just saw the testimonial - thanks so much! Well I think I'm thankful - perhaps I shouldn't be smile I never know with you...