gypsygrrrl

ok, this is where I say "fuck it", I'm just gonna rant away, no matter what eyes may scan these words.

things are shit.

just got home from 4 hours in the emergency room because Sy decided he was going to disregard my warnings and conitnue to twirl that fucking plastic shovel next to his eye anyway. so within 30 seconds of my warning, the shovel's edge skidded across his eye and caused and abrasion on his cornea. fuck.

we sat there for 3 hours in the waiting room while everything around us moved in slow-motion. Ever see ER on tv? well, this was nothing like it. for a metropolitan emergency room on a weekend, there sure were a lot of doctors moping about drinking coffee and chit-chatting while the waiting room was full of people in pain. It's amazing how frustrating it can be to sit there and question your own ranking on the criticality scale. I was IRATE. I still am. I hate doctors -arrogant fucks that they are (they're right up there with lawyers). We're all just specimens on an assembly line to them. not even...

anways, I'm miserable. plain and simple. my son is sporting an eye-patch and we have to go see an optomotrist tomorrow to see what the damage really is (since the ER doc did not have the patience to talk Sy into sitting still for the eye-inspecting microscope thingamajig - so the 4 hours waiting time was for nada).

I'm angry - at Sy for not listening to me, at doctors in general for being such assholes, at Sy's dad for not EVER being here and leaving me to deal with everything no matter what my state of mind may be... I'm just angry at the world right now for never failing to toss a new challenge at me when I'm at my weakest. fuck fuck fuck.

I just want this fucked up ride to stop. I really just want to be someone else, somewhere else, in another time. cause this particular incarnation just doesn't seem to be working for me - no matter how fucking tough ass I get about it.

so there. that did not make me feel a single speck better.