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gwenyfver

Acton/Wells, Me

Member Since 2005

Followers 238 Following 108

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Thursday Feb 09, 2006

Feb 9, 2006
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I know I keep posting...I'm bored...I'm sorry...forgive me...

So I had a strange dream last night. It was one of those everytime I woke up and went back to sleep I went back to it. First I was on the Ireland trip with my school friends, and then flying back from it, but the whole time my boy M3fr33ky liked this other girl and was kissing her and stuff. Its not the kissing, it was that he liked her as more than a friend. It got me really upset and (in my dream) I was crying and plotting how I would beat the crap out of her.

Now let me explain before you all go yell at my boy cause it is not his fault at all. I know he loves me and I have his heart and such. It comes from a period in my life exactly 4 years ago when my boyfriend of the time had broken up with me to date someone else. I tried to push it down and not let it bother me and I actually dated him again for another couple of years, and we just broke up at the end of this summer...on good terms, we still talk and hes a good friend of mine (I'm not trying to say anything bad about him, just the facts of what happend).
But I guess subcounciously (can't spell to save my life) I haven't gotten over it. I don't think I ever will. I think there will always be that little bit of fear and doubt in my mind.

I also realized something interesting about my relationship patterns. So ok...Other than the one I'm in now I've been in relationships with 2 other people, and one was in junior high but I'm still couting it.
Guy in junior high:
I asked him out, he broke up with me, I asked him out he said no, He asked me out, I broke up with him, he asked me out I said no

Ex boyfriend:
He broke up with me, we went out again, I broke up with him

Its like I have to have the final say. I am not done with a relationship until I'M done with it. Strange. I guess theres no hope for anyone out there wink

Things I wish I had more time for:
Seeing all the SG sets I missed in Ireland
Catching up on the SB sets I've missed
Looking at all of my friends and favoites journals everyday
Reading more (for pleaure)
More horse back riding
More working out
And I just wish M3fr33ky was here with me...
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
furious1:
HMMMM. Yup I got a pattern too. surreal
Feb 10, 2006
oxy:
go catch up with the SB sets...theres been some real good ones.

smile
Feb 11, 2006

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