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gweiloken

Rockledge, FL.

Member Since 2006

Followers 1592 Following 1901

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Wednesday May 16, 2012

May 16, 2012
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The Rain

I try to resist. I walked away, I kept my distance, but with the smallest effort, you can pull me back in. I think, that is what bothers me the most, the way that I lose all control when it comes to you. I was fine living with my lost hope. My days were filled with the certainty that comes with having no hope It is a very complacent place, where the only expectations that you have to meet are your own. There is a tranquility that comes with the thought of thats all there really is, but that can all change in an instant.

I always had this feeling, that whenever I was lost, I always knew that I could find myself in you. When you were gone, I became lost. I stayed lost, and I began to enjoy being lost. Being lost, became a warm blanket on a cold dark night. It was sitting in the car as the rain came down, and your favorite song played on the radio.

There you were, standing in front of me once again. I looked into your eyes, and that part of me that was lost, came running at full speed into being found. Being found, can be full of confusion, it can full you into believing in hope. The safety of being alone, means not getting hurt, where as being found has no safety, no promises, it only has chances. Do I, dont I. Will I, wont I. If, then what. All choices with consequences.

Where do I go from here? There is an insanity that goes with being a pert of something. We always feel like the insanity comes, when bonds are broken, but it is the loss of insanity that makes us mad. The madness overcomes us and plummets us into control. You never see it that way at the time, but that is exactly what happens. Only when we lose ourselves, can we see who we truly are. Then and only then, are we in control of who we are. We build the walls that create the foundation of who we will become. Only to have someone pick a small hole, and those walls come crashing down.

With the walls shattered, I stand before you now, looking into your eyes, and finding myself once again, and a smile crosses my face. The smile that comes from someone, that has truly gone insane.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
rouse:
Jun 23, 2012
pavone:
Hello! smile
Jul 20, 2012

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