gundamzig

i try to drink myself away, it hasn't worked. If anyone ever wonders what kinda life i have vvan see i have 2 friends on the site and they never respond to any of my comments and have never commented on mine. i don't blame them, just is an indicator. i guess i did/do what i do best, help others through the pain and absorb...
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Sucks. i was so hopeful, then............SHE appeared even though i though she was gone. Then someone who i thought could rescue me won't. I can't blame her, she has been hurt and is avoiding it now. I pray for an end, any end. who cares wins.

Oh well, I leave home later today. Back to Europe after not much fun here. Not even Baltgoth helped. What else did i expect? A new life?

this is boring. Met a new person online, my spiritual double AND she's married. DOH! So little done in 2 weeks and no joy. missed the last goth night while i am here, missed all in fact. If you read this, Hi Ovida.
WHo cares
wins

What else can go wrong. My Mom ( insert snide remarks here) can't take my stuff to hold for me. My brother informed me that I can't hang out here much longer. I have no way to get around and have to look up storage places now. My friends in germany could use help and I am not there when needed when it lools like...
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Made it to Maryland in one piece. bored out of my mind with no way to get around. Whatever

Gonna be flying back to the states in less than 10 hours. maryland here i come. If you see any news about a US Air flight coming to grief on the way to Pittsburgh or Baltimore, that would probably be me, knowing my luck. Here's hoping not. Maybe i will be able to post whn i get there, if anyone is reading anyway.

Why do i read other people's entries? All i see are people having waaaay more fun than i am. i have gotten to where Iidon't/can't think of spending a hot time with anyone. On top of it all, the fucking cough has returned and i can't shake it.
At least i get my new post for my tongue tomorrow ( ihope), i leave for Baltimore...
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Listen to this a few times in a row (album version), and the Marilyn Manson's covers of 'Sweet Dreams' and 'Tainted Love.'
That's where my mind is.

Attenuate the light of day
So I can see the lines and details
And not the hazy, plastic blur
That floods my eyes till I can't see


Let the wind erase me
Like the memory of a kiss...
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Sometimes a song can sum it up better.

I haven't felt so alive in years
The sun is shining down on me
My eyes are welling up with tears
Tears of joy, tears of ecstasy

Emotions I once kept concealed
Now flow freely like a river
Life's great mysteries revealed
Love's great promise delivered


I hate my life I want to die
I was just...
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