Ryan's Rules of Tattooing FAQ's (Stolen from another Website)
Does this list of common Q & A's about tattoos help?
1. Does it hurt? No of course not. This is just an urban myth so that everyone doesn't go out and get tattooed. Tattoos are not applied using a tattoo machine. This is just a special effect used by TV shows. All my tattoos were licked on by kittens. Different colored kittens for the different colors of ink.
2. How much will it cost? Actually tattoo artists feel so privileged to let them tattoo you that they will actually pay you.
3. How do I get rid of my tattoo? Most people don't know this but there are a few methods. The human body is actually like a giant etch-o-sketch. Just shake yourself really hard and the tattoo will disapear. The second most reliable method for tattoo removal is the wizard of oz method. Just hold your hand over the tattoo you want removed and close your eyes and click your heels together while saying tattoo be gone 3 times and your tattoo should disappear.
4. Can I make my own tattoo machine or make my own tattoo? Well of course you can. Tattoo artists only go through years of apprenticeship and training for the fun of it. Just use any old ink you have lying around, and some sort of pin or needle and go for it. It should come out looking like Da Vinci did it. Don't worry about cleanliness and infection. Having a tattoo automatically protects you from any nasty diseases you may get.
5. What tattoo should I get? It doesn't matter really. Tattoo artists just start to tattoo with their eyes closed and are magically inspired by the tattoo gods to give you the perfect tattoo for you. Each tattoo is unique and individual to your exact personality type and emotional state at the time. So just blindly walk into a studio and say you want a tattoo and they will know exactly what to do for you.
6. If I am under the legal age can I get a tattoo? Sure you can. Since tattoo's are so easy to put on and take off, any reputable shop will gladly tattoo you no matter what age you are regardless of parental consent. Don't forget, you and your friends can always do it yourself if you are having a hard time finding an artist to do one for you.
7. Is my tattoo infected? Of course not. Tattoos magically protect you from infection and disease.
8. What cream should I use on my tattoo? Well since you weren't paying attention to the aftercare instructions that your artist gave you I will let you in on a little secret. The best cream to use on a tattoo is the semen of a righteous man. Preferably the Dali Lama. Just go onto ebay and get a big bottle. It should last a while.
9. Should I get a tattoo on my hands, neck, feet, face, palms, and soles of the feet? Yes, definitely. Go for it. It is always a good idea, especially the face.
10. Who is the best tattoo artist in my city? You are of course!! No one knows how to tattoo you better than yourself. So pick up that dirty safety pin and break open that sharpie and go nuts.
11. Do you like my tattoo? Yes. The hazy, out of focus photobucket picture of your heart/ flower/ imp/ pixie/ fairy/ teletubby is fricking amazing. Welcome to the cool brigade, my friend
12. How soon can I drink/tan/workout after a tattoo?
Never. Getting a tattoo is a most sacred tradition. One you have tattooed your temple you may never violate it again.
Does this list of common Q & A's about tattoos help?
1. Does it hurt? No of course not. This is just an urban myth so that everyone doesn't go out and get tattooed. Tattoos are not applied using a tattoo machine. This is just a special effect used by TV shows. All my tattoos were licked on by kittens. Different colored kittens for the different colors of ink.
2. How much will it cost? Actually tattoo artists feel so privileged to let them tattoo you that they will actually pay you.
3. How do I get rid of my tattoo? Most people don't know this but there are a few methods. The human body is actually like a giant etch-o-sketch. Just shake yourself really hard and the tattoo will disapear. The second most reliable method for tattoo removal is the wizard of oz method. Just hold your hand over the tattoo you want removed and close your eyes and click your heels together while saying tattoo be gone 3 times and your tattoo should disappear.
4. Can I make my own tattoo machine or make my own tattoo? Well of course you can. Tattoo artists only go through years of apprenticeship and training for the fun of it. Just use any old ink you have lying around, and some sort of pin or needle and go for it. It should come out looking like Da Vinci did it. Don't worry about cleanliness and infection. Having a tattoo automatically protects you from any nasty diseases you may get.
5. What tattoo should I get? It doesn't matter really. Tattoo artists just start to tattoo with their eyes closed and are magically inspired by the tattoo gods to give you the perfect tattoo for you. Each tattoo is unique and individual to your exact personality type and emotional state at the time. So just blindly walk into a studio and say you want a tattoo and they will know exactly what to do for you.
6. If I am under the legal age can I get a tattoo? Sure you can. Since tattoo's are so easy to put on and take off, any reputable shop will gladly tattoo you no matter what age you are regardless of parental consent. Don't forget, you and your friends can always do it yourself if you are having a hard time finding an artist to do one for you.
7. Is my tattoo infected? Of course not. Tattoos magically protect you from infection and disease.
8. What cream should I use on my tattoo? Well since you weren't paying attention to the aftercare instructions that your artist gave you I will let you in on a little secret. The best cream to use on a tattoo is the semen of a righteous man. Preferably the Dali Lama. Just go onto ebay and get a big bottle. It should last a while.
9. Should I get a tattoo on my hands, neck, feet, face, palms, and soles of the feet? Yes, definitely. Go for it. It is always a good idea, especially the face.
10. Who is the best tattoo artist in my city? You are of course!! No one knows how to tattoo you better than yourself. So pick up that dirty safety pin and break open that sharpie and go nuts.
11. Do you like my tattoo? Yes. The hazy, out of focus photobucket picture of your heart/ flower/ imp/ pixie/ fairy/ teletubby is fricking amazing. Welcome to the cool brigade, my friend
12. How soon can I drink/tan/workout after a tattoo?
Never. Getting a tattoo is a most sacred tradition. One you have tattooed your temple you may never violate it again.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
that would be even cooler than kittens licking tattoos on people.