Saturday Mar 24, 2007

0


I can't sleep. I've had maybe two hours tonight. I'm on a hair trigger, listening for any sounds from my cat. About 2:00am she puked in her water fountain so I got up and cleaned that out and refilled it. A couple hours later I gave her another syringe of food. I mixed a can of 9 Lives Chicken Dinner with some glop and blended it smooth, hoping to give her a break from the straight glop.

I hate this.

If she doesn't pull out of this soon I'm going to have to put her down, and I don't want to kill my cat. It's hard to let go, but I don't want her to suffer on and on just so I can have her here with me, that'd be selfish and cruel. I love my cat very dearly, she's been with me for a long long time.

Every time I think of this person and what she said, my blood pressure soars and I think some very dark thoughts indeed. She may not be my least favorite person in the world, but she's in the bottom five or so.

My fucking head hurts, I think I'll go back to bed and try to sleep.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
vaugelychilly:
Fuck what anyone else says, she's your cat and you are doing a damn good job looking after her. Some people...I swear...
I know what you're going through, had the same thing with my dog two months ago. It's heartbreaking but you can't let them suffer for your own selfishness (well that's what I kept telling myself), she's going well enough now from what you're saying but I hope things don't deteroriate any time soon.
catdad:
I've discovered that there are too many self-righteous 'experts' in the cats group, so, regardless of what you do, someone will criticize it because they think they know better. I spend very little time there. You're in a tough situation, but 20 years is a long life. Take comfort in knowing you've given her a great home and taken her beyond the average lifespan. I've cried when I've had to put mine down (or even some of the strays who have been sick), but the time comes. You have to weigh the situation and do what's best for both of you.

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