So, uhh...yeah...nothing new to report today...cuz nothing happened...it was like every other pre-date day...i saw her, she smiled, we talked, we went our separate ways...she's busy tonight, going out with friends, so we coudln't chill...

i'm beginning to wonder just how much that date really meant to her...wether she even thought there was a future there at all...i dunno, its been a down day...

i'm thinking about just giving up...i go through worse mood-swings than most girls do

...There was once a tiger-striped cat

This cat died a million deaths, and lived a million lives, and in those lives, various people owned him. None of those people he cared for.

This cat was not afraid of death.

One life, the cat became a stray cat, which meant it was free. And it met a white female cat. They became mates, and lived together.

Time passed, the white cat passed away of old age. And the tiger-striped cat cried a million times.

Eventually, the cat died again. But this time, it didnt come back to life
--Spike, Cowboy Bebop

...so what do i do? You all say i'm doing something right, but nothing is changing...she said she'd let me know if she ever had some spare time, but every time she might be free, she ends up going out with her friend or her mom, or having work...is she just blowing me off? is this a nice way of pushing me away so she doesn't have to tell me directly that she isn't interested? or is she playing hard to get, which is something i despise with every fiber of my being...if a girl wants to hook up with a guy, why the hell would you try to make it seem like you weren't interested? that sort of thing just bothers me...

so where should i go from here?

GStrife

Edit: I just wanted to add a few drawings i did...just for the heck of it hee hee... Collage of random junk, some abstract thingie...dunno really..., and heres a landscape i did..., this is my eye...yeah, i was bored...looks a little rough on the computer

so there you go...perhaps my longest journal ever