Thursday Blog-
Well it is another day in paradise here in sunny Arizona.
Bills are paid, pantry is filled, and there are a few dollars left in the bank and the wallet. 
Life is good as it can get for me I guess.
I have books to read, everything for the garden, and plenty of time for it all. As good as this sounds the loneliness still gets to me in the dark and cold hours of the early morning as I toss and turn during the night. Having all my needs met but one is like having an itch that cannot be scratched. 
About 10 days ago I decided after another 9 months of having given up trying to find someone to again to enter the world of dating. 
I signed up on a free dating site. Last night I finally had a date with someone I corresponded with on the website. To preface the last sentence I contacted 7 women with back and forth emails on the website. I instant messaged 2 of them; text messaged 2 of them, and actually spoke on the phone with 3 of them. After this time and effort I managed to get a date with 1 of the 7. Going on the date proved to be a major headache as well. 
My date cancelled on me on Tuesday the first time due to a schedule conflict with school. We rescheduled for Wednesday I picked her up and had a nice meal and some conversation. Date ended fairly early with me dropping her off at 7 pm. I could have spent more time with her but conversation was running out after 2 hours. I was certain we each had several bad relationship experiences in the past. I have really worked on move on from mine and she has not. She still has ties to her ex which sends warning bells a-ringing for me. I was attracted enough to her but dont want a physical relationship just to have a physical relationship. I could easily earn her trust and get all the sex I want with some time and effort but that is not me. Damn these values and ethics that has some how crept up on me over the years. I guess I still believe in treating others the way I want to be treated. I must be crazy. Oh well the search continues
Well it is another day in paradise here in sunny Arizona.
Bills are paid, pantry is filled, and there are a few dollars left in the bank and the wallet. Life is good as it can get for me I guess. I have books to read, everything for the garden, and plenty of time for it all. As good as this sounds the loneliness still gets to me in the dark and cold hours of the early morning as I toss and turn during the night. Having all my needs met but one is like having an itch that cannot be scratched. About 10 days ago I decided after another 9 months of having given up trying to find someone to again to enter the world of dating. I signed up on a free dating site. Last night I finally had a date with someone I corresponded with on the website. To preface the last sentence I contacted 7 women with back and forth emails on the website. I instant messaged 2 of them; text messaged 2 of them, and actually spoke on the phone with 3 of them. After this time and effort I managed to get a date with 1 of the 7. Going on the date proved to be a major headache as well. My date cancelled on me on Tuesday the first time due to a schedule conflict with school. We rescheduled for Wednesday I picked her up and had a nice meal and some conversation. Date ended fairly early with me dropping her off at 7 pm. I could have spent more time with her but conversation was running out after 2 hours. I was certain we each had several bad relationship experiences in the past. I have really worked on move on from mine and she has not. She still has ties to her ex which sends warning bells a-ringing for me. I was attracted enough to her but dont want a physical relationship just to have a physical relationship. I could easily earn her trust and get all the sex I want with some time and effort but that is not me. Damn these values and ethics that has some how crept up on me over the years. I guess I still believe in treating others the way I want to be treated. I must be crazy. Oh well the search continues
reena:
Give it time xxxx
xxxx