grooverider

"Twas in the darkest depths of mordor
I met a girl so fair,
But gollum, and the evil one crept up
And slipped away with her.
Her, her....yea."



Man- that Robert Plant dude sure did write some stupid lyrics.


i mean- 1st of all- how do you meet a "girl so fair" in the "darkest depths of mordor"? does she live there?!?

now- gollum- "the evil one" - yeah right, as if he's friggin sauron or somethin'- (he's not evil- he's a victim of society's cruelty!), "crept up and slipped away with her..."
did he kidnap the girl?

i don't think so- it plainly says- he slipped away WITH her.
i'd say they went off together.

impossible you say?

i personally know a very pretty girl who thinks gollum is really cute. well- cute in the wicked-teddy bear sense, but still- the name 'gollum' and the word 'cute' came up in the same sentence.

so, as we can plainly gather from the lyrics- the girl chose gollum, and can you blame her?!?

he's a dark lone wolf- a misunderstood riddle artist- born WAY before his time- who has not one but TWO interesting personalities, and walks around half naked all the time.

can you blame her for choosing him over a successful pretty-boy rock star with a high pitched voice and low cut hippy-fag jeans?

i rest my case.



Damn I love that song!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Here's your drink Mr. Natra-"

"That's Okay- you can call me Franksi..."



now you make one up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


important update-

okay, i actually took a minute and READ the lyrics myself- appparantly, it's gollum AND the evil one-
i stand corrected.

so-

they were working TOGETHER?!?

yeah- i can totally see THAT happening-
Sauron, the dark overlord, the master of Mordor, Commander of the great armies of darkness, a Mayar, servent of Melkor-





and his buddy smeagol, aka gollum.



i should make a movie about that pair-

Sauron will be like the good cop- does everything by the book and such, and his partner smeagol is the rebel.

they'd probably drive a rad automobile- red with shiny white tires, and they'd be driving along in mordor, spot the girl and go- 'hey baby- need a ride?'

and she would totally go for it and robert plant would just stand there and be all like- wtf?!?

they would drive off and leave him in a cloud of dust to the sounds of 'bad to the bone'.

now that's quality cinema!!!