Why Gay Marriage Matters...
I know, I'm (mostly) preaching to the choir, but this last week I saw a very close and personal example of why gay marriage *really* matters.
I have a very good friend who is gay. He's been in a steady relationship for over 5 years now, he and his partner own a car together and a house together. They've been together for as long as my wife and I have. We'll call them Joe and Bob.
Last week, Bob had an accident. Now he's in the hospital in intensive care, unresponsive and on a ventilator. Because Joe isn't related or a spouse, the hospital technically doesn't have to tell him anything. Fortunately, the doctors and nurses understand and are compassionate enough to share news of Bob's condition with Joe. Unfortunately, that's the least of Joe's worries.
You see, the house is in Bob's name. He'd owned it before they met. Since, they've been 50-50 partners on everything, but that doesn't matter. And Bob doesn't have a will. Just one of those things they'd meant to do, but never gotten around to it. In fact, right now, Bob's parents, whom he despises and wanted nothing to do with (because they disowned him) are already moving in at the hospital, trying to keep Joe out. And they can. If it comes to a decision about ending Bob's life they--not Joe--will get to make the decision. Even though it's not what Bob wanted. Because Bob didn't have a will.
And if Bob--god forbid--doesn't make it, Joe will be evicted from their home. Because as a homosexual partner, he doesn't enjoy any property rights.
Of course, all of these things could have been arranged with forethought. But how many of us do that? I don't have a will... my wife doesn't have a will. But it doesn't matter. If I were to get hit by a car and end up in the hospital today, my wife would be able to be by my side 100%. And she'd get the right to make decisions about my medical care. And if I passed away, she'd automatically get the house, car, etc. Even though I don't have a will, by virtue of the fact that we're married.
So, Joe and Bob, in a loving committed relationship just as long as my wife and I, are screwed. All because "state" wouldn't recognize a life commitment between two men. I don't believe in god, and I don't think people need a marriage ceremony or certificate to be committed for life. But they do need one to have their rights protected under the law. That is precisely why gay marriage matters.
I know, I'm (mostly) preaching to the choir, but this last week I saw a very close and personal example of why gay marriage *really* matters.
I have a very good friend who is gay. He's been in a steady relationship for over 5 years now, he and his partner own a car together and a house together. They've been together for as long as my wife and I have. We'll call them Joe and Bob.
Last week, Bob had an accident. Now he's in the hospital in intensive care, unresponsive and on a ventilator. Because Joe isn't related or a spouse, the hospital technically doesn't have to tell him anything. Fortunately, the doctors and nurses understand and are compassionate enough to share news of Bob's condition with Joe. Unfortunately, that's the least of Joe's worries.
You see, the house is in Bob's name. He'd owned it before they met. Since, they've been 50-50 partners on everything, but that doesn't matter. And Bob doesn't have a will. Just one of those things they'd meant to do, but never gotten around to it. In fact, right now, Bob's parents, whom he despises and wanted nothing to do with (because they disowned him) are already moving in at the hospital, trying to keep Joe out. And they can. If it comes to a decision about ending Bob's life they--not Joe--will get to make the decision. Even though it's not what Bob wanted. Because Bob didn't have a will.
And if Bob--god forbid--doesn't make it, Joe will be evicted from their home. Because as a homosexual partner, he doesn't enjoy any property rights.
Of course, all of these things could have been arranged with forethought. But how many of us do that? I don't have a will... my wife doesn't have a will. But it doesn't matter. If I were to get hit by a car and end up in the hospital today, my wife would be able to be by my side 100%. And she'd get the right to make decisions about my medical care. And if I passed away, she'd automatically get the house, car, etc. Even though I don't have a will, by virtue of the fact that we're married.
So, Joe and Bob, in a loving committed relationship just as long as my wife and I, are screwed. All because "state" wouldn't recognize a life commitment between two men. I don't believe in god, and I don't think people need a marriage ceremony or certificate to be committed for life. But they do need one to have their rights protected under the law. That is precisely why gay marriage matters.
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I hope your friend pulls through. marriage is about property in the eyes of the state. it's too bad that we have too look at our genitals in order to validate our love, when in reality we should be looking at our souls.
All kidding aside, anyone who has been unmarried in this situation can understand. When my now husband was ill, I was tossed out of his hospital room for not having the cache of being a wife. We remedied it by getting married, but we also know that would not be the case for many and had a moment of silence at our civil service to honor those who are unrecognized partners. Best wishes to your friends. Li.