gringo

PAY IT FORWARD

We've all seen the movie. We all thought it was a great idea. How come nobody is putting it into practice? Why is it that whenever a good deed is done, we expect something in return such as an expected return favor, money, or bragging rights to hang over that person's head?

I know this doesn't always apply but more often than not it does. When is a gift truly a gift?

I remember many of the gifts I received from my parents as being more "on loan" or "with conditions." Whenever I was bad, those things that mattered most to me were taken back for a short period.

Or, I was constantly reminded of the gratitude. "Remember that time your mother and I _______________ for you?" Too many examples to list there so you do the math.

I've never liked the way that certain "gifts" or "favors" from others have felt. I feel like I was always reminded of their good charity and that somehow I owed them something whether it be a gift in return, a similar favor, or just constant acknowledgment and praise of their "good deeds."

I came to the conclusion that a gift should truly be a gift. A favor should really be just a favor without any expectation of a return. How is it a gift if there's a condition attached to it? It is better to do something and not expect anything in return. If and when you do receive something in return...it makes it that much more special.

I've gone in and out of paying it forward throughout my adult life but I'm definitely back in the game.

Last night, there was this guy in his early 20s who was going car-to-car in the drive-thru line at Jack-In-The-Box. He was pretty grubby and looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days. I assumed he was begging for money or something but he finally got to our truck and asked, "Hey, I don't have a car and they won't let me stand in line because the dinning area is closed. Would you buy me two jumbo jacks?" I told him I would and he handed me two dollars and some change. He told me he would meet me at the front of the restaurant when I got through.

I then looked at the cars in front of me. All guys. What does this matter? Well, if there were females driving, I could see where a girl may not want to interface with some guy hanging around a business park at night. I totally understand the need for safety. But guys in cars and trucks?

Anyway, we get through the line and get the food and I drive up to where he's standing in the parking lot. I give him his two burgers and I give him back all of his money. He was totally puzzled and actually dropped the change on the ground. I smiled at him and said, "Hey man, whatever is going on in your life...you will get through this. When you can, do something nice for a stranger. We all need help and we all can help."

I know...it's kind of a hippie-ish thing to say but I believe it.

I have done this almost regularly for the past year. Stopping to help those in trouble, changing tires, whatever. The reply is always, "Just do something nice for a stranger when you can."

Obviously, you need to be safe when doing this but when you can help....the feeling you get is amazing.

This will be my first year of working for Habitat for Humanity. I've always wanted to be a part of it but I never actually took the time to do anything.

Maybe I'm a nut, a kook, an idiot - whatever. I don't care. I just know that there is too much negativity in this world and I know that we can turn it around. We can help each other instead of hurt each other.

We don't need to put people down. People are able to put themselves down enough that they don't need your or my help.

Just try doing things for others without expectations. People close to you and people who you will never see again. You will probably feel better than you've ever felt - and that my friend is the reward.