grimjack

I wasnt going to start out this journal with a song lyric, but that seems uncharacteristic of me. So, Here's some brooding Johnny Cash for those that can appreciate his work:

I Still Miss Someone

At my door the leaves are falling
A cold wild wind has come
Sweethearts walk by together
And I still miss someone

I go out on a party
And look for a little fun
But I find a darkened corner
because I still miss someone

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes
I see them every where
I miss those arms that held me
When all the love was there

I wonder if she's sorry
For leavin' what we'd begun
There's someone for me somewhere
And I still miss someone

Pretty much sums up my deal as of late. I've been brooding over the relationship thing. I've tried to steer clear of this crap in my pathetic journals. Not this time, though. It's been 7 months since she left, and my mind still wanders back to the mistakes, the fights, the idiocy of it all. You think that you're finally over her, and then that vivid dream enters your subconscious. The kind that you instantly remember when you wake up, only you wish you didn't. I see her looking at me with with eyes filled with dissapointment and sadness. As always, I try to act stoic and proud, but end up crumbling away in a mewling and pathetic soul underneath the facade. Then the anger starts up, with the blame throwing down in her direction: an eruption of pent up rage and emotion. It always ends the same...she walks away towards someone else, and I'm left standing on an empty, trash ridden street.