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grimjack

Philadelphia

Member Since 2004

Followers 53 Following 95

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Friday Nov 18, 2005

Nov 18, 2005
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Trying to get myself out of a foul mood. I've been ill most of the day, keeping me from heading out to the Poconos to pick up my season lift ticket for Jack Frost and Big Boulder. Beyond that, I've been pretty much sitting in my house, drinking booze and eating crap. Well, playing video games and reading comics as well. God, I feel like I'm back in college again. And no matter how I try to rationalize it, this just doesn't feel right to me.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that things arent going right. Everything just feels...wrong, for some reason. I'm floating day in/day out, without much to show for this life. And thinking like that is beginning to take it's toll. At this stage in my life, I'm not sure where I should be going and what I should be doing. Hell, I feel like I've been doing the exact same thing with my life for 12 years. Almost as if I'm skirting by on borrowed time. But instead of repaying, I just keep adding more to the loan.

This just isnt right at all. I'm not right at all. And the most disturbing thing about that self-realization is that I have no clue what to do to make things work again. To make me right again...if I ever was 'right' in the first place. I just don't know...
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
gabriellamarie:
Just 'be'
Nov 20, 2005
lufy:
Thanks for your sympathies. I appreciate it.

Sounds like you're going through a bit of soul-searching on your own. I guess, maybe, you need to ask yourself what you want your life to look like and what you're willing to do to get there.

Any ideas on some priorities?
Nov 21, 2005

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