I have a Master's Degree in Entomology and worked at one of the most prestigious honey bee labs in the world for almost 15 years. I was at the top of my game and was either the author or co-author on several papers that are still being cited in research literature today. I loved my job, but wasn't in love with my job.
My girlfriend at the time pushed me to follow my passion and become a brewer about 6 years ago. I did. I jumped into that wide unknown. Quit a full time permanent government gig and hopped into the civilian workforce. She promised we could make it work. She told me she'd be the safety net and that everything would be fine. And I trusted her. She regularly made at least 3-4x what I did as a brewer and never once complained or said there was any resentment.
We got married and moved to her home state. A place I absolutely hate.
Now we're in the middle of a divorce, my safety net is gone, I'm living in a state and city that does absolutely nothing for me, and I feel completely lost. I have this expensive brain that I'm not using for anything even remotely close to what I went to school for. I'm doing side-hustle gig work that feels belittling.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with the hustle. And there's not really any bad way to make money. But this is not what I thought my life would be at 41. I didn't foresee a massive career change and suddenly living paycheck to paycheck while my soon-to-ex-wife is pulling down over 200K a year.
I feel stuck and lost and like an asshole for feeling bad about my situation. I hate everything about this.