Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats Tip

grenade

Calgary

SG Since 2009

Followers 2858 Following 945

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday Feb 02, 2010

Feb 2, 2010
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
In the arms of eternity


Blood guts knives knives knives.

Maybe your just sitting around reading guns and ammo, masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go wow... it is amazing how fucking crazy I really am.

Today I stayed awake long enough to see the sun rise.
I think its time I began taking care of myself, I mean I love taking care of other people, I love how it feels to make other people feel happy, I love how it feels when I see people smile because of something I did for them, I always want to share all of my things, I give away all my favorite things all the time, and as a result I don't own very much smile I don't want to buy new clothes even though I kind of need them, I want my sister to have new clothes, I want my sister to have brand new shoes, I want my sister to have a nice goalie stick to play at her games with, I want her to have the new helmet for hockey.

I notice all my black clothes are turning grey, my boots are getting ruined, and my only pair of shoes have huge rips along the sides... but I see my sister happy with all her nice clothes and shoes and I feel like its much better this way, I take care of everything for her, and I hope she is happy.

Sometimes... I wonder if it's really healthy for me that I disregard myself so much, I wonder if I thought about myself more...would I be happier?
Would it be selfish for me to go shopping? would it be selfish for me to have pretty things for myself?
I don't know...
I don't really like gifts to be honest, I would rather be the one giving the gift than getting it, Im not high on myself or anything, I just truly believe that if you send out good deeds these deeds will come back to you someday eventually.

It could be sunshine.

I do however, feel that its important for myself to be happy, I think even if I don't go get new pretty things and treat myself everyday, I should at least feel good too, How can I make anyone else happy if im not happy myself?
I am on my way to inner peace, Im trying....
My friend gave me amethyst the other day, just a small stone, and she told me she noticed how drawn I am to the color purple, and I am pretty drawn to it, I love purple things, she said to me "purple is the color of amethyst and amethyst represents healing and good nature" , I think she is right and maybe I was drawn to purple this whole time because of my personality.
I wonder if nature is something that will help me connect with myself more.
I wonder if something spiritual is what I need rather than something psychological.

drrn:
When your black clothes turn grey it just means you've finally broken them in.
Feb 2, 2010
holidayorphanx:
the same thing rings true with me...
Mar 1, 2010

More Blogs

  • 12.13.09
    3

    Monday Dec 14, 2009

    Terrible, Lonely, Forgotten, Useless, Worthless, Stupid, Contradictin…
  • 12.07.09
    6

    Monday Dec 07, 2009

    Today.... I woke up sad.... I woke up sore and cold I woke up so tire…
  • 12.05.09
    11

    Saturday Dec 05, 2009

    GLITCH RIP OFF? I have seen Glitch and her beautiful sets and Its …
  • 11.29.09
    15

    Sunday Nov 29, 2009

    oh god its happening! The insanityyyy!!! oohh!! my head is filling …
  • 11.28.09
    7

    Sunday Nov 29, 2009

    Its all sunshine now<3 Its been almost twenty years of living! I…
  • 11.27.09
    13

    Saturday Nov 28, 2009

    Omg! so its up! I love this! this is the best feeling in the world! b…
  • 11.08.09
    8

    Sunday Nov 08, 2009

    What i'm here for. its like I can't control it. Body dysmorphic d…
  • 11.06.09
    0

    Saturday Nov 07, 2009

    Read More
  • 11.06.09
    0

    Friday Nov 06, 2009

    Read More
  • 11.06.09
    1

    Friday Nov 06, 2009

    here I am! i finally have my very own lap top! be prepared for a ton …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
10
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,024 followers
  • 14,922,169 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,396,762 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo