There's so much sadness and fear in our world, it hurts my heart. I think it's important to express gratitude when and if we're able to. Otherwise we will just drown in misery.
I try not to complain about the little things in life. I try not to but of course I don't always succed in that. I'm only human, after all. I bitch about traffic. Sometimes it takes me two hours to drive home from work. But, you know, I have a job to drive home from. More than that, a well paying job that I enjoy more often than not. I am so so thankful for that. I complain about the weather sometimes. It's getting cold; I don't care for the weather this time of year. However, I have a roof over my head and warm clothes to wear. Words cannot express how grateful I am for those things. I lived in my car for some time several years ago (when I was heavily addicted to drugs) and it was a fucking nightmare. I'm so very grateful to be out of that situation. I complain about being tired more than anything. But I have a warm bed to rest in at night and I'm very thankful for that, as well. I complain about being lonely sometimes. But... I'm alive. I'm in relatively good health. I have family that I love and who love me back. I have friends (not many, but it's quality rather than quantity, in my mind) that I can turn to. And I love them all, with all of my heart. And that includes some of you reading this. I'm genuinely grateful for this community in which I can express myself openly and honestly and I can be as weird as I am. So thank you. Truly, thank you all. For being yourselves and for being so caring and open minded and just generally awesome people. And a particular thank you to those of you with whom I communicate on a regular, if not daily, basis. You know who you are, so I won't call you out, but thank you so much for being my friends.
What happened in Paris, and what happens in places we don't necessarily hear about as regularly, is tragic and terrifying. I fear for this world. And it really puts things in perspective for me. While I bitch and whine about traffic (in a car that's paid off, to go to a house I own in a quiet neighborhood, from a job I like) people are dying. For no good reason. It's just... horrible. Who the fuck am I to complain about anything?!
I don't even know where I'm going with this, to be honest. I'm just saddened at the state of the world and I'm so very sorry that things like this happen. Anywhere, anytime, to anyone. It just doesn't make sense to me. We could discuss the "who" and the "why" all day and still, it wouldn't make sense.
I love you people. And I'm grateful that you're part of my life. That's all I'm really trying to say, I guess.
I hope you're all having a great fucking day.
