I began writing this in a group thread but halfway through I realized that the group is called Dating Sucks so I'm not sure it really fits the theme of the thread, haha. But I finished it nonetheless so fuck it, it's a blog post instead.
Dear Yana,
I think I'm falling in love with you and it scares the shit out of me. Every aspect of my life is in a state of flux right now and I don't know how to react to this new development. Because of that I've been ignoring you a little and I'm sorry for that. To be fair, I wasn't lying when I said work is crazy right now. It is, and I'm often exhausted. But more than that, I'm terrified of telling you how I feel. Just terrified. We agreed from the very beginning that there were no strings attached. But the truth is, I want the strings. I want to be committed to you. I want to be with you and only you. So I ended things with J. Now, in hindsight, I'm so glad I was open and honest with you about her. I think even then, at least on a subconscious level, I knew there was something very real between you and me. That's part of what allowed me to open up to you.
I don't know exactly where I'm going with this. Hell, I hardly know where I'm going in life. All I really know with any certainty is that I want you to be part of it; this life. You are the best part of my day, every day. I want to be with you more than I want anything else. I hope, with all of my heart, that you feel at least a fraction of what I feel for you. I don't know that I'll ever have the courage to say this to your face. So I'm writing it instead, and hoping, every second of every day, that it's mutual. I love you, gorgeous.
V
