greekdevils

I always want something important to post when I do a entry here. I've looked at a lot of my previous entries and realized that I do a lot of whining. I guess it's who I am. But that's why I moved to Greece, to discover who I am, and also to be in a safer environment. So now I know three things about me: I'm naive, I'm a whiner, and I"m compuslive. Kinda good and relieving that I'm discovering these things. Of course, its stuff I've known all along but never bothered to put two and two together. You know, while I was in this rehab/mental facility, I realized that if I was 21 and someone from the future had told me that I would develop a severe gambling habit and that it would lead to three suicide attempts, I don't think I would have changed at all. I say that because theres a concept that I never grasped and yet everyone around me was yelling it at me...that is the characteristic of being a compulsive person. One is too many, a thousand is never enough.

I broke my date yesterday I love to watch soccer, especially the German Bundesliga, but I don't have a tv on this side of the house....one of my favorite things to do with my dad is watch soccer games and football. Since theres a major time difference, and lack of local interest, I don't watch football. But they have these little sports betting/ lottery establishments on every corner, and I've been going to them with my dad on Saturdays. I feel awkward though that I go in there and don't give the guy any business, since he's got like six different games going on at once. I don't bet on sports. I prefer to keep sports as something I enjoy as opposed to something to make money on. Anyway, so I figured I'd make a 2.50 euro bet on some keno. I won 2.50 euros and watched my soccer and left. I felt horrible afterward. I mean, I'm not going to kill myself over this, but even if I made a .50 cent bet, I still broke my date. Theres no excuse for gambling when you're a compulsive gambler. I'm just trying to stay positive about it but I still feel kinda bad. I mean, this bet didn't ruin my life like previous bets, but....

off to the silliness boards to be silly