I don't have much to say other than when I get below 200 lbs, I'll give you all the full story. But I promised myself after the last blog that once I got below 230, I'd post again. So here I am a month later one ounce below 230 after I fucked up a muscle in my knee and gained weight and stopped exercising completely. I'm sick of people telling me how good I look because I still see this obese, lonely, ugly fucking guy in the mirror. The therapy has been crucial to helping me deal with this obsession I had over the girl as I no longer think about her too often, but my therapist is trying desperately to get me to work on my self image and get me out of the mentality that if I become thin I'm going to get the woman of my dreams. Its not impossible but when you've been overweight a good portion of your life and women don't want to date you, what else do you expect? I've definitely gone out of the house more over the past month but I'm still way behind.
I hope you all are doing well and I love you to death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you all are doing well and I love you to death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
it's been a while, but not that much has been going on for me. i got a motorbike, getting better at riding it (i now commute to work on it. yay). ummm... actually, i think that's about it. ugh, that's kinda boring.
how is your knee now? and how are things going? hey, and i know what it's like to have an obsession over someone. i'm still trying to deal with the worst mistake i've ever made when my ex and i broke up over 3 years ago. i still miss her and without exception think about her every single day. i've gotten therapy for that too. therapy is good, but you probably already know that it's you who will have to do the hard work, getting out of mental ruts, changing the way you think, letting go of thoughts and such that you might not want to let go of. sucks sometimes though.
and yeh, changing your mental self-image. sometimes it's like how the fuck am i supposed to do that?! you know, you've been looking at yourself in the mirror for so long, and you're supposed to change your opinion?! but everybody probably is their own harshest critic, and other people probably don't see you as badly as you see you (at least, that's what i think/tell myself).
i don't know. just remind yourself that it's really easy to be hard on yourself, but it doesn't mean it's correct.